Some good ideas here, would be good to know if this is being read anywhere by players or if this is literally just for background info for the writing development. If players will be reading it probably needs some editing and tightening up a bit
Fair enough. Honestly, I imagined perhaps a minor cutscenes before first playthrough or perhaps a cinamatic that plays before you even play the game.
I agree...and this may be nit-picking and not what you were looking for...If so, forgive me.
You do a good job of finding synonyms to keep the word flow unique (although I do think you use "fractured" and variants of "mutating" too many times in such close proximity), but I think you reiterate descriptions a little to much...
The denizens of this broken planet were now faced with unfamiliar terrain.
You've already clearly established that the world is broken, so I don't think you need to illustrate that again. it lengthens it out but doesn't really provide anything new to the scene.
Many species were unable to adapt to the new toxic and radioactive landscapes...
Again, I'd pick either toxic or radioactive, but I don't think both are needed. Etc.
That's kind of the main thing that jumped out to me when I read it...I don't know if that's at all what you were looking for, if not then again, forgive me.
It sounds like an interesting concept though, and you've got some really cool elements at play here! Keep it up and keep us informed!