Play, find out what makes you tick as a gamer, what doesn't, and why. Think critically about the systems. It sounds like you're drawn towards an emphasis on narrative--maybe examine whether mostly RPGs like
Baten Kaitos move you, or also more implicit narratives like the one in
Journey?
Does the play of traditional RPGs appeal to you? Do you prefer actiony offerings
Secret of Mana or in-betweens like
Symphonia? Do you like to explore? Laugh? Cry? Enjoy the scenery? Do you prefer intellectual challenge or reflex challenges, or a more leisurely experience? Do you like learning things about yourself or the virtual space you're in when you play games? Do you play games in connecting with others?
That might give you a notion of the kinds of experiences you want to create.
My recommended viewing, which most people here have probably seen a million times already, but in case you haven't:
Extra Credits on Aesthetics of Play - why different people play games. Based on your post I suspect you're drawn to narrative, at least.
Lots of Extra Credits has been good viewing in general.
That one Egoraptor video on
MegaMan X I've seen too many times on level design/intuitive learning in games (warning: lots of foul language + cartoon violence on top of in-game's cartoon violence, in case those things bother you):
Ego has some other good thoughts, but many of them are strewn almost randomly throughout let's plays. Others would probably better grasp the merit of the Castlevania videos; I had mixed feelings about the Zelda one.
snomaN Gaming General design/good features to have in games in general (haven't watched all yet, but what I've seen has been good):
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrSZDOvRCmRBLuY5_DPZ0xqdMonjbNjZ_My recommended reading, Derek Yu on finishing a game (simply inspirational)
http://makegames.tumblr.com/post/1136623767/finishing-a-gameMechanics dynamics aesthetics (earlier Extra Credits video, the paper they reference):
http://www.aaai.org/Papers/Workshops/2004/WS-04-04/WS04-04-001.pdfRecently I've also gotten into reading various interviews on Gamasutra where developers speak pretty openly about different genre ideas, the ways they try to implement good design in their games, etc. Cellar Door had a good one about their efforts at intuitive teaching in
Rogue Legacy, for instance.
I got into design because of very old customizable game systems called ZZT and MegaZeux at a very early age, around 10-11 and 12-13, respectively. Slowly getting better over time. I would say start with something simple, if you're a programmer (more than me, which isn't saying much) and just make make make, discover what you like making and like playing. As a matter of fact, at this point I'm trying to branch out to more "professional" environments way too later on in the game, and I'm taking my own advice, my first target will probably be either GMStudio or Python for development.
I want to make a game someday that gives a player that little flutter in the heart like Rune Factory did for me. It's inspirational to me. I like making people happy and video games make me happy ^^
To motivation: I totally get that. I personally feel most fulfilled when I know someone legitimately enjoyed playing the game I made, even if it's not in my preferred genre, but I normally have to have enough interest in the final product myself, or at least its inner workings/system design, to get something playable done in the first place. Part of what motivates me is this existential desire to make something,
anything beautiful to give to the universe.
My last piece of advice is
make make make make make. As with everything it's going to start out crappy, but you'll notice yourself subtly getting less worse over time. If you don't, or you find you're losing motivation to improve, maybe there's some sub-section of game dev or design you're more specifically drawn to, or you might be one of those people that's a better critic than designer.