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Author Topic: New Writer looking to get feet wet  (Read 863 times)
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« on: January 30, 2017, 01:23:28 PM »

Not sure if this is the place to post, but...

Nice to meet you all. I just joined about two minutes ago because I read this is a great place to get started as a video game writer. I've done lots of writing before and I love story-heavy video games (Undertale, Witcher 3, Mass Effect being particular favorites of mine). Most of my writings are forum RPs where I have to Ping-Pong back and forth between myself and a partner(s) so collaborating with other writers is no trouble for me whatsoever. It's where I can even get my best ideas and be the most efficient.

As for what I'm good at... I'm proficient at sci-fi and fantasy, though I always do my due diligence about the world, settings, culture, etc., before I do any writing. I'm flexible and willing to work with any topic or setting, though. I'm good at whatever I need to be good at. My writings are more character-centric, owing to my origins with character-based forum RPing, and deriving a culture from them, or vice versa.

I don't have a portfolio ready since I really don't have any writings worth showing or talking about. By now, I'm certain every single alarm bell is ringing in your head. If you wish, give me a topic, setting, character, anything and what you would like me to write about, and I'll be sure to give the best writing I can muster.

Once again, it's good to meet you all. I'm pretty certain I'm doing this all wrong, but hey, social awkwardness is awkward.
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« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2017, 09:36:56 AM »

Write about some people in an empty room and make it interesting

This is an official challenge
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« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2017, 10:39:25 AM »

*bows* I thank you for the challenge.


The room was cold and desolate - stark white walls met a stark white floor, with a ceiling just as blank. A small wooden table sat in the middle, surrounded by black, foldout chairs, providing the only color and contrast in the room. There was no music, no other decorations, nothing. It was a room where either a lot was accomplished... or nothing at all. And whichever it ended up being depended on who inhabited the room at the time.

One by one, people filed in. A well-dressed woman wrinkled her nose at the poor interior design, but regardless took a seat. A corpulent man stepped in and imperiously sat down. He huffed - he wasn't allowed to smoke in here. That was bound to put him in a horrible mood. A younger, twitchy man walked in. Nervously nodding towards the other two, he took another seat. Another woman stepped in. She wearily sat down, barely acknowledging anyone else. And finally, a man in a suit with a briefcase walked in, just getting off his phone, and took the remaining seat.

They all looked at one another, regarding one another for a second. There was no clock to tick down the seconds, making the silence oppressive and stifling.

"Well, out with it!" the corpulent man barked out. "I haven't got all day, and the damned criminal ain't getting any deader!"

"Excuse YOU, unlike some vulgar dog, I'd rather not be prone to such a rash decision," the first woman huffed. She bright aside her bright blonde hair and looked them over. "Come now, as time-consuming and tedious as it is, we need to come to a decision on this person. Guilty or not guilty?"

The twitchy young man looked up, rubbing his hands nervously. "W-well, I dunno," he stammered out. "He d-doesn't seem like the type t-to commit a c-crime. I mean, just... y-yeah, doesn't seem like the t-type.."

"And there's a type now?" the corpulent man boomed out. "Boy, if there's one thing that's universal, it's crime. So don't go telling me such a damned thing! Why, I could say you're the type to commit a murder. Does it make it true? Does it?!" The twitchy man struggled for an answer, his mouth opening and closing several times as he desperately sought words.

"Now, come, come, no need for high tempers," the man in the suit interjected, raising his hands in a placating manner. He leaned forward with an easy smile on his face. "At least some of us have a bit more time to decide. Let's just consider the evidence and work from there, alright? I'm sure we can come to an agreement about the verdict."

The tired woman flicked her eyes upward in an irritated glance. "Easy for you to say," she grumbled. "Shift starts in an hour and I've already had to wake up early for this stupid trial." Then she sighed, rubbed her forehead, and gave a rueful smile. "Sorry, it's been a very long week. Not exactly in the best of moods."

The well-dressed woman reached into her purse and pulled out a small metal case, which she passed over to the tired woman. "Caffeine does wonders, my dear," she said, giving a sympathetic smile. The tired younger woman blinked and grinned. "Agreed," she replied, taking a piece of gum out of the box and popping it in her mouth before passing the box back. The corpulent man had his arms crossed, tapping his finger against his arm.

"We done making friends?" he growled. "Good. Now, a kid enters into a house in the dead of night, robs a house, kills the old man inside, and books it. Seems pretty clear-cut to me. I say he's guilty."

The twitchy man shifted uncomfortably. "B-but why w-would he kill s-someone i-if it's just t-to rob them?" he questioned. "I m-mean, he's j-just taking stuff, so..."

The corpulent man bangs his hand against the table, causing it to creak. "So he can get the hell away without anyone knowing it was too late!" he roared. "The owner would know better than anyone that it was missing, so as soon as he noticed, the jig was up! Why else could he have done so?"

The younger man shrugged. "M-maybe h-he just p-panicked?" he squeaked. He was looking more anxious by the second, glancing frightfully at the larger man whose temper only seemed to worsen with every word he said.

"Well, in the heat of the moment, things do happen," the well-dressed woman said, fingering the chain of her bracelet. "Didn't that coroner say that he died from a blow to the head? That's how you knock a person out, right? Maybe he misjudged his strength?"

The tired woman snorted, half amused and half exasperated. "He's been watching too many movies if that's the case," she replied with a sardonic grin. "If you've been smacked on the head that hard, chances are damn good you have brain damage at least, dead at worst. And I've seen those pictures. Either the kid really panicked, or he swung with literally everything he's got. That wasn't a blow to K.O."

The man in the suit stared at her. "You seem to know an awful lot about this kind of thing," he quietly observed.

She shrugged without a care. "Where I grew up, you see gangs beating each other all the time - with baseball bats, brass knuckles, whatever you could get your hands on," she said rather matter-of-fact. "You learn quickly when someone was swinging at you to scare you... or to kill you."

The room fell silent, everyone looked toward the woman with a mix of surprise, horror, and apprehension. The twitchy man licked his lips before asking, "S-so, then, wh-what do you think? W-was it deliberate?"

The tired woman scowled. "Deliberate? Hell no," she stated bluntly. "That kid outside looks even more nervous than you - no offense. Chances are good he just panicked, whacked him, and bolted. I mean, did you guys remember what the prosecutor said about the stuff he stole?"

The well-dressed woman frowned. "I was considering that as well - a thief who doesn't take their goods?" she asked. "An oxymoron. What is the point?" The tired woman nodded in confirmation. "You don't break into someone's house to rob and not leave with any loot, not a house like that," she stated. "And less the entire sack in the middle of the floor."

"I'm still not convinced," the corpulent man snarled. "What if it's just a set-up? He acts like he's gonna rob the place, then clubs the poor bastard and runs. Gets himself an easier sentence than homicide. Or hell, maybe he was hired by someone else to off him. The old man was rich enough - he's had to have SOME people with a grudge against him."

"Are you suggesting he was assassinated?" the well-dressed woman asked rhetorically, glaring at him. "Come now, this world is not populated to the brim with scum. I've made enemies in my time and yet here I sit before you. This isn't some sort of spy thriller, good sir."

The suited man nodded. "Gonna have to agree on this one," he responded. "My family's pretty well off, and even though I had one or two bodyguards, I was never in any danger. And I've stuck it out by myself, and like she said - I'm still here. So yeah, I'd say the chances of him being assassinated are pretty remote."

The corpulent man glared at the both of them. "Yes, look at you preening like prized birds in your damned golden cages," he snarled. "If you're damn well protected more than the ordinary person, of course you'd be safe! You wouldn't be robbed, let alone assassinated! And here you are, parading yourself like damned roosters! So why don't you pull your head out of your ass and just think of the goddamned facts?!"


Unfortunately, this is all I have time for at the moment - work starts in a bit - but let me know what you think! I'll finish this later on when I get the chance.

Edit: I forgot to mention, this is actually my first time ever writing in this kind of setting or scenario, so please keep that in mind.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2017, 12:01:28 PM by kenjichan » Logged
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« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2017, 06:53:33 PM »

Continuation here. Sorry for taking a bit. Needed to brainstorm.


Both the well-dressed woman and the suited man glared at him. The tired woman just sighed exasperatedly and broke back in. "Hey, you guys mind shoving your tempers and ego back into your heads so we can finish this already?" she demanded, glaring at each one in turn. They all sank into a sullen silence.

The twitchy young man offered a nervous smile of thanks to the tired woman in response, who glanced over and waved him off. He turned back to the others. "I d-dunno, I m-mean," he stuttered out. "E-everything seemed to i-indicate he p-panicked so wh-what's the big deal?'

The corpulent man huffed. "I'll tell you what - it'll send a message," he declared. "That this method will work and it'll net a career criminal a shorter jail time. This boy killed the man in cold blood, and that's that."

The suited man raised an eyebrow. "I hardly think manslaughter would carry that much of a lighter sentence," he deadpanned."If the murder was deliberate, then the subsequent frame-up as an accident would probably be an extremely shoddy job." The corpulent man just glared at him.

The well-dressed woman stared at the corpulent man with a curious expression. "You seem oddly set on him being guilty," she noted.

The larger man turned to her and glared. "Of course!" he boomed. "Criminals need to be locked up! And I don't care what the hell any of you say, I'm not going to change it!" He stood up quickly, slamming his hand on the table. As he did so, his wallet fell out of his pocket. The nervous young man picked it up, about to return it, then he saw a picture of a young girl.

"H-hey, I kn-know her," he stammered out, blinking. The man rounded on him, then his eyes widened and he rapidly snatched the wallet back. "Sh-she was in a c-class with m-me," he said. "B-but she never showed up again a-after one time."

The corpulent man glared at the younger one as all eyes were now on him. "An honors student like her, eh?" he commented. "My niece. Bright girl, bright future. Said she wanted to study animals, and I heard she already had a scholarship all lined up." Tears began leaking out of his eyes. "She-she went out with some friends one night. Nothing bad, just went for a drink for the weekend. Then on the way home, she was walking alone. Some thugs came across her and... and..."

The room was silent aside from his sobs. None of them knew what to say or do. The well-dressed woman placed a hand on his shoulder. "We're sorry," she murmured. "It must've been hard."

"The hell it was!" he suddenly roared, causing everyone to jump back. "The damned thugs were related to some goddamned official! They were let off with a slap of the wrist! No jail time or anything! I'd take care of them myself but they up and left the country as soon as they could!"

He glowered at each of them in turn. "So no, anyone who breaks the law like that, ANYONE," he growled. "I'm not forgiving them. Not now, not ever. I say he gets condemned."

The twitchy man gulped. "B-but... d-do you think your n-niece would like that?" he asked innocently. "I m-mean, I've t-talked to her a f-few times. Sh-she was really nice and even help m-me understand the t-teacher's lessons. I d-don't think she'd want that..."

The corpulent man turned his glare back on him. "No, she wouldn't," he acceded with a snarl. "But she's not here to tell me that, now, is she?"

The suited man sighed in exasperation. "Both of you just stop," he said wearily. "We're getting nowhere close to a verdict and I believe a few of us have matters to attend to. Look, what happened was painful, yes, but not all criminals are hardened killers. The prosecutor even said the boy's only criminal record was petty theft. Just calm down and think rationally for a second."

"And besides, what are you gonna do?" the tired woman asked, her head leaning up against her hand as she glared daggers at the corpulent man. "Condemn or hunt down every single criminal you come across? Judge them all equally like that? Who made you the goddamn Punisher, huh? All you're doing is hurting more people, so you're not much better than them."

The man's eyes began bulging in rage when suddenly, the nervous young man squeaked, "Wait, you read the Punisher?"

The young woman blinked and replied warily, "A few issues here or there, yeah. Why, what's it to you?"

The young man held up his hands in a disarming gesture shaking his head. "N-no, no!" he said quickly. "J-just a bit surprised is all. D-didn't think y-you were a c-comic book fan is a-all."

The well-dressed woman cleared her throat. "Now, now, while I'm sure it would've been a fascinating discussion," she interjected. "Do keep the current task in mind. Now then, aside from the gentleman here, are we agreed on the verdict?"

The other three looked at each other and nodded, with murmurs of agreement. The well-dressed woman nodded. "Now then," she said, turning back to the corpulent man. "We have made our decision, and we are as adamant as you are about yours. You can either concede and find another way of dealing with your grief, or we can continue until we're both blue in the face. Your decision."

The corpulent man snarled, looking at everyone, but he realized that it was four against one, and it was pointless to drag this out any longer. "Fine, we'll play it your way," he grumbled. "I'll find another way. There are always other ways..."

The well-dressed woman nodded with satisfaction, the suited man grinned, the nervous young man breathed a sigh of relief, and the tired woman remarked, "Finally!" They all began filing out of the room, closing the door behind them.

The room was now quiet once more, the white wall and floor and ceiling, as well as the innocuous table and chairs betraying nothing of the conflict it had just seen. It sat there waiting for its next occupants, for their stories and decisions.
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« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2017, 10:26:22 AM »

Bumping this. Is anyone else interested? I could always write something else.
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« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2017, 10:54:25 AM »

Since almost every sentence of the text starts with "the", it looks like an enumeration. Aside of that it's not bad.

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« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2017, 12:53:14 PM »

Thank you very much. I'll keep that in mind next time.
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« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2017, 06:28:06 PM »

An empty room contains people. Is the room empty?

This is the interesting question.

I am author of Independent By Design: Art & Stories of Indie Game Creation and host of the Indie By Design podcast - both designed to explore and celebrate indie gaming in all of its forms.
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