it's good, but I do have a few comments -
since your game is very pixel-y the very not pixel-y logo feels slightly out of place, especially heading the greenlight page. maybe do it in the same style as the game art? both look good they just don't feel like they fit great together. the image headers aren't so much of an issue but it might be cooler to do them over with an ingame font too
it is possible I could be in the minority here and that most of your views are coming from people who played the first warlocks? but I know nothing at all about the first game and so the fact that so much of the description is comparing this game to the first one is a little alienating. if you aren't very specifically targeting players who have already played the first game (in which case this is probably the right way to go about it) I would suggest still mentioning its predecessor, but describing this game's features in terms independent of the previous game.
e.g. perhaps change this
This time we’re much more serious (to a degree of course) about the story in our Warlocks game. You’ll be challenged with completing both main and side quests, all of them featuring dialogue and new gameplay elements - say no more to the boring tower-defense hordes of enemies!to this
We’re taking story seriously in this Warlocks game. You’ll be challenged with completing both main and side quests, all of them featuring compelling dialogue and novel gameplay elements. Fight with the band to do the thing! Run with the giant warthogs and do another thing! Help your firebird friend familiar thing find true love!I think the core features paragraph should probably be the one of the first things on the page tbh, it makes a good hook and is strange to only see it after scrolling to the bottom
and this last one is pretty small but I think a big enough deal to definitely change - on the page it says
God Slayers is a brand new story, where our titled Warlocks now need to face the gods themselves, as apparently perishing the shadow monsters have pi**ed them off.in many cases it is fully appropriate to use vocabulary like "pissed them off" when trying to describe your game in an appealing way. it's not that incongruous here, though I do think it might be a little better to reword in a way that doesn't have expletives if you're not that attached to the wording. but the reason I bring it up is because in almost no cases is vocabulary like "pi**ed them off" a good way to describe a game in an appealing way. (I'm guessing if the word was written out steam would censor it?) using asterisks like that feels a bit too silly for this game. I really suggest either writing out (if you can) or finding another way to word it
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