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[anotherDev]

Hey guys, back after another delay.

So, I have some not-so-great news to share.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently, and unfortunately, I don’t think I can do this anymore.

The fact that I don’t feel like I have “found the fun” in the last four years with this project leads me to believe that I probably never will. And ultimately I think I don’t want to.

It feels pretty awful to push aside all the work I did in the past four years. I guess I made a terrible mistake, focusing on this black hole of a project for so long. I guess I believed that one day I could turn it around and make it something special. But I think I just made too many amateur mistakes at the beginning of development, which spiraled into more critical mistakes later on. I don’t think I’m capable of making something special with this project. Mostly I’m just not willing to spend any more time on the chance that I am. I think for a while I kinda knew I couldn’t turn this around, but this was the only thing anyone I cared about in my life noticed me for. It’s the only thing in my life so far that I felt had value. I think more than anything I kept going because I didn’t wanna let anyone down. I have felt like a failure for most of life, and I thought for once I could do something right and that THIS was thing I was gonna do right, that I wasn’t EVER going to give up on. This was obviously a dangerous(and stupid!) belief to have. I don't think it reflects the reality of how people I care about will actually think about me.

It’s definitely not all bad though, one of the bigger reasons I’m giving up is a bit more positive. I think through the development of the game I have at least been able to see that maybe I’m better off on slightly different/more focused paths. I don’t have much, but I am a very ambitious and determined person, I still believe I can do really cool things when I decide to focus on them. This game has become, to me, more of a time sink that has been keeping me from trying those other paths to a worthwhile extent. So I will try some other creative projects using the skills I've sharpened during these last four years. I still love the progress I made, and would like to use these skills on something that I approach in a smarter way. One that stands a better chance at being something awesome. I think I'm gonna take a break from games for a while, maybe for a long while, but if ever go back to trying one again, I'll be sure to post about it here.

So, anyway, you should consider this project postponed indefinitely. I’m so thankful for all the support you have shown me the past 4 years. I’m sorry if I let you down.

[cynicalsandel]

I was looking forward to this, but you gotta do what's best for you. Good luck in the future!

[JobLeonard]

Hey man, hug

I say the same thing I say with every cancelled indy devlog that I follow here: you never owed us anything to begin with, we loved everything you've shown us on its own merit, and IMO we should already be grateful for the fact that you were brave enough to share it. It hasn't lost any of its inspirational value just because you moved on to something else either.

From what you write here I agree that letting go of this project is probably for the best for now - although I strongly disagree with how negative you are about it was shaping up to be so far . I understand the feeling though - anxiety can lead to focusing on negative doubts and escalate into a downward spiral.

Keep working on your personal demons, you're on the right path! It gets better, just hang in there!

[coremission]

Looks good, but what I personally did not like is there is no light interaction. It will be much more rich rich if there'd be dynamic lights, I know it is hard to do, but can't walk away not mention this

[JobLeonard]

@coremission: are you aware that comes across as very entitled?

[coremission]

@coremission: are you aware that comes across as very entitled?

I didn’t understand if you were offended by me, but I didn’t want to offend, sorry