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[FeralPixel]

Hi! This is the first time I'm making any sort of forum post seeking critique for my art. I am really serious about improving the quality of my work. When I'm not doing n client work I on mockups of my own.

This is one from a few weeks back. I like to let things marinate when I can, and this piece seems to still interest me. How would you suggest I improve this?

I'd really like to shine some light on my blind spots so I may put in more practice into improving in those areas.

[Garlicguy]

Looks great!

I'd say maybe not make the background so dark. My keeps getting drawn to that dark shade of black.

[Peace Soft]

Dang that is really good. I love the helmet demons. Nice designs all around.

The only issue i see is the visual hierarchy. The hi-contrast background jumps out a lot more than the low-contrast faces, for example. I'm losing your main guy a little between the purple railing/pipe and the grass the same color as his pants. Also i would not have guessed that purple object was just part of the background, because it's on the same hierarchical level as the helmet guys' pillars (unless those are in the background/foreground too).

You said "this piece" though, so is this a stand-alone thing, not a graphics prototype for an actual game? Then maybe your priorities are different, I don't know.

[Oskuro]

Hey, there's already a Mockup feedback thread where people share their game mockups, in case you want to post there too. 

[FeralPixel]

Thanks so much for all the feedback! I really appreciate it. Here is an edit with what I've learned.

How else can the color be improved?
How about the UI?
Also, is the 'camera' a little low or just right?
The idea for this mockup is an action platformer type with puzzles and combat. How can I best communicate that?

[Willsaber]

Personally, I favor your original mockup over the new one. I basically agree with many of the points made by other users itt, but I think you went a bit too far in lowering the background's contrast, because now it is very hard to read. I think a better solution than dramatically darkening the sky would be to just lighten the backdrops. I notice you did that to some extent, but I think you should take it a bit further and just have medium-gray towers standing on a bright orange sky.

[TheClintHennesy]

Thanks so much for all the feedback! I really appreciate it. Here is an edit with what I've learned.

How else can the color be improved?
How about the UI?
Also, is the 'camera' a little low or just right?
The idea for this mockup is an action platformer type with puzzles and combat. How can I best communicate that?

I agree with Willsaber.

The problem with the 2nd one is that the background is incredibly dark. If you are trying to put more emphasis on your monsters and stuff- then I'd say either make your background lighter and your foreground objects darker- or do the opposite: where you make BG darker and make the FG lighter.

Ia also think the main character (the guy with the hat)'s colors are very off from the style everything else in. He's a bit too saturated compared to everything around

Other than that, I think it looks awesome! :D

[Razz]

here's how I would have changed the background. It uses less colors, less contrast + still gets across the sunset look.

Edit: whoops forgot the image  



double edit: holy moly, I just realized how old this post is. didn't realize this board was so dead.