[Writing] Teaser for a 4X game

Intro:
I had an idea for a game that I probably won't work on for a while. However making design documents is my idea of fun so I have done some preliminary work. Part of this was writing the script for a teaser trailer to advertise this hypothetical non existent game. I wish to share this script with the TIG source community for critique. My vision for this trailer is to rely on panning still images with the narration played over the top (much like Homeworld).

Elevator Pitch:
For those of you who are interested. The game itself will be a civilization clone where instead of fighting against other civilizations who all miraculously start at the same tech level, you start as the only civilization on the map and have a set number of turns to grow your civilization before the Nemesis arrive. After which point the Nemesis will land drop pods on your planet which will spawn an unlimited supply of steadily tougher units. The goal is to manufacture and launch as many escape ships as possible before the Nemesis Units destroy all your cities.

Trailer:
Long ago one of our great thinkers asked a question: “If the universe is billions of years old and the conditions to create intelligent life are not unique. Why haven’t we heard from the other intelligent life out there?” That was question was at the forefront of our collective imagination as we took our first steps towards the distant stars. Sadly the answer was not to our liking.

We encountered the Nemesis, an unstoppable alien organism whose sole purpose is to extinguish any intelligent life it encounters. It cannot be deceived, it cannot be reasoned with, and it can not be contained. It wiped out our first colonies in days. When it arrived on our home world, it took only a few years eradicate all life.

But in those precious few years we managed to construct great ships to cast as many of our people to the unknown stars as we could. Through the bravery and sacrifice of billions a few thousand individuals were able to escape the fires of our home world. But the Nemesis would not rest until the last of our people were purged from the galaxy.

We leap from star to star trying to stay one step ahead of the Nemesis. When a suitable world was found we would land, we would build, we would create a new life, and we would enjoy what happiness we could find before the inevitable arrival of the Nemesis. We are a civilization of refugees, the last of a dying people.

You are a planetary governor. One link in a long chain of leaders that stretch back to the last days of our home world. When you make planet fall you must explore your new world, exploit what resources you find there, expand your population and infrastructure until it can manufacture new escape ships, and prepare your defenses against the inevitable arrival of the Nemesis.

You can not hold this world forever. All we ask is that you hold it long enough to see the legacy of our people returned to the stars where we can continue to stay one step ahead of extinction.