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[AuthenticKaizen]

http://www.agameaweek.com/2009/06/agameaweek-needs-you/

just saw today that jayenkai wants to create a monopoly style game with insane patents instead of houses etc.

i thought that many TIGers here have some creative ideas to help him out in that case.
(im still thinking of a good patent idea and will doodle it...)

heres an example from him:


Triple Rocket Launching Hat
Lighting three rockets in rapid succession may be dangerous, as by the time you’re lighting the third rocket, the first might set off in your vicinity. By lighting the three arms of the Triple Rocket Launching Hat (B), a person needs only place their head behind the three rockets (A) to launch them simultaneously.

What I need from you...
I need a whole boatload of patent ideas. Make them as completely improbable as you can.
The less safe, the less sane, and the less probable the better..
Think of things that would NEVER really happen in the real world!
…or maybe they would, there are some really crazy patents out there!

You don’t have to doodle them, just a description will do.
But if you are doodling, 400×400 white background, black ink, as seen above.

Make sure you give me a bit of text to work with, though.

Additionally, if you can come up with a few cards, let me know those, too!

Thanks to all who help, your names (as supplied) will be in the credits, and I’ll try my best to create this game for the Big Three.. That’s PC, DS and J2ME - Specifically my Cookie.

Heck, maybe even XNA? (But .. that’s probably got a bit of an issue with legalities!!)

(jayenkai developed the fantastic arena shooter alien deathmatch 2 and many other games like Horizontal Shooter Redux or centipong)

[AuthenticKaizen]

Hairtoaster



A nice product for those who want to save time (and still want to eat a little in the morning).
While drying the hair a toast can be instered into a special slot.

1. special hair dryer
2. slot for toast

[Hajo]

Flyswatter bot: Armed with 5 tentacles and oversized fly-swatters, he can smash up to 5 flies at once from mid flight.

Coffee grounds reader: No more secret gypsy knowledge required! Simply put this device on your cup, and it will tell your future from coffee ground patterns in plain English.

Raisin polisher: No more bland cakes and pies with unpolished raisins. This device will make your pies sparkle!

Phone silencer: No more being annoyed by the ringing of your phone. Just put this over the phone, and it will never disturb you again.

Ultraviolet rat bleaching lamp: You have a white rat and want it to stay white? Attracted by the warmth of the lamp it will happily sleep under it, and the UV rays will bleach the fur to the whitest of white.

Snail attractor: Using high pitched sounds above the human hearing abilities, this will attract all snails from within 2 miles distance. So if your salad beds are plagued by snails, just place this in neighbors garden, and you'll never have a snail problem again.

[mewse]

I believe that this is the game which you are looking for? 
Available for only $12 from Cheapass Games. 
(Chips, die, and play money not included)

[swordofkings128]

the garage door opener remote carrying case + carrying case opener remote



1. Carries all your garage door opener remotes in 1 stainless steal container(Fits up to 50)
2. Comes with an easy to use remote for your hurricane-force-winds proof container.

[Jayenkai]

Thanks all, some good ideas here.
Which makes a change from the garbage I'm getting on some other forums.

Don't look if you don't want to be depressed by some people's extreme lack of brainpower.


B= the kid or adult with granade
a= Granade


You know, when I saw that, I thought "Oh well, at least it can't get any worse!!"

..
Then this arrived.



With 0 description on the amazingly complex hilarity.

*sigh*
Some people!

Thanks again to all in this topic!
Much appreciated!

Very very very much appreciated!!!!

[Loren Schmidt]

Remote Control Motorized Elephant Rollerskates
Is your elephant too slow and boring? Zip him around at the push of a button with this fantastic new invention. Now you can ride your elephant to work in a fraction of the time. You can even have your own elephant motor races, elephant figure skating competitions, and elephant jousting tournaments.

Eating Machine
Eating is such a chore. Who wants to spend all that time chewing? Well now you don't have to. That's right, this sleek black box cooks your food, puts it on the table, and even eats it so you don't have to.

Magic Permanent Skin Painting Tattoo Markers
The days of painful trips to the tattoo parlor are over. With this new invention you can draw on your own permanent tattoos as easily as writing with a pen! The ink will never fade. Kit comes with three pens and a booklet of tattoo ideas.

Reversible Sausage
This sausage is beef flavored on the inside and pork flavored on the outside. Don't like beef? Just turn it inside out!

Removable Nose Spectacles
Have you ever wanted a keener sense of smell? Now you can smell up to ten times better... with your eyes!

[Simon Andersson]

Spleen remover
You never needed that thing, and you know it! Sends a sharp knife piercing into your stomach! When your spleen is gone, you can proceed using it as a practical joke on parties!



Attetion Grabber
You've ever getting tired of screaming at strangers? Now you can let the machine do the talking while you do the walking. With the settings: Hostile, More Hostile and midly inapropriate, this complex computer scan the enviroment, calculates and shouts the insult or hurtful comment of your likeing!

[Ego_Shiner]

The AIDS gun


just aim the AIDS gun at someone in need of AIDS and it will AIDS them
the idea originated in Germany so there were bound to be some translation problems

[mcccclean]

The use of a simple steel rod and some household fishing line, when added to a hat, can permanently remove the problem of feather-sag.



(Apologies for image quality, don't have access to my tablet.)

[Danmark]

By converting the downward motion of a man's urine to lateral motion, the Piss Track eliminates the problematic splashing from the surface of the liquid in the bowl. Further, it increases the distance between the man and the bowl, thereby eliminating the chance of an errant droplet strike on his person.

The Piss Track is compatible with any common toilet system.

[rob]

The piss one seems helpful. Seriously, patent it.

[Alec S.]

Crazy Patent Generator

[Tom Sennett]

The use of a simple steel rod and some household fishing line, when added to a hat, can permanently remove the problem of feather-sag.



(Apologies for image quality, don't have access to my tablet.)

mind-blowingly brilliant

[deetus]

Quickly taken from an auntie pixelante link, but it's pretty awesome.

http://www.google.com/patents?id=aAuzAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4

[Cymon]

.

Okay, that was a joke.

And that was a joke about the fact that the first was a joke so I could post a joke.

[Simon Andersson]

The ironing board is not THAT stupid.