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[Pfotegeist]

I've been watching more Sadhguru, it's obvious he has a very different experience from someone who's merely read books and cloistered away to remain in a sterile solitary environment. His ability to explain things in plain English is really what matters, if he were informed about new technology he'd easily be a Science explainer. He delves deep within a religion, it adds a richness to his understanding of the world, the history of the personalities that make up the religion display their own uncommon goals, or a point of view, which will be closely resembled by someone who shares a similar path in life.

There is nothing wrong with a tremendous number of great personalities existing at a given time in the world. Avoiding blending personalities, is probably beneficial. I can still spend a few years away and come back and listen and yes I still agree, or I like this tv show I haven't watched for a few weeks, and the replay value of an old classic video game doesn't ever quite diminish to nothing because it's so well made.

You can obviously learn more about unusual people than I have in my lifetime, just by reading something akin to multiple historical accounts of their deeds. This is probably the thing USA's history needs to really learn from world-spanning religion, something with deeper roots than we can experience on our own will come closer to understanding the nature of humanity. If we rely on nothing but new science, we're going to end up doing the same experiments over and over, to see if maybe next year, people will behave different. They will behave different as a sign of the times. That doesn't predict how an individual will behave on their own path, will it?

So, these things I like are eclectic, they compliment each other in my mind. I couldn't be myself without having experienced them. At this point my present personality is starting to attempt to merge with my old shy one.

[Pfotegeist]

Going for walks is making my feet complain in that way only feet know how.

I used to walk all the time, and continued, right up until my health really got bad, so now it's like I started over from not quite zero, the muscle is there, only badly maintained. I can't really describe how everything's working in a few words.

I learned that the hamstring, glutes, and lower back are the "most powerful" chain of naturally developing muscles in the human body a little while back when I was reading about muscle fibers.
The calves have an important role in transporting blood back up.
Since walking uses the most powerful chain of muscles in your body repeatedly, it is pretty easy to do it and transform how your body works. It also uses the calves, but just how much you want to push them, is up to you.
Improving my required nutrients, somewhat tailored to my physical makeup, has only very gradually improved my health to the point that I can start pushing it harder.
Being out in the sun seems to have other benefits besides nutrients.

Getting exercise might actually cause your body to sleep more efficiently, well, I don't hear much about people who sleep 3 hours, there's a constant hype about needing 8 hours. And I still don't have enough evidence to support that what I'm doing will overcome the lack of sleep, but I am still quite clearly getting healthier on my new diet.

What this has all started to do is cause a more intense physical experience than I'm used to.

I have been in shape, without good health... and that makes temptation very easy to overcome. Although some days in the past, I would sleep half a day, and the rest of the day is so intense I needed to do something to blur it out. After walking the same path for a few months, I can't distinguish one walk from another.

Now I'm in good health, without shape. This means my mind is also not in shape, my work ethic isn't back yet. I am experiencing each day like it's longer, I can remember things I might have looked at while on a walk, although it's not a perfect memory, it's not what I'm used to.

At night I try to think about the music I prefer, and I might compose music (in my head, I don't do the basics), and I think it exhausts my mental abilities too quickly so I end up falling back asleep, at the moment that's how it is. Music isn't really something I experiment with much.

When I'm on a walk I think of various things, music is definitely one thing that blurs the memory more, when I did a full 6.5 mile walk I just thought, at the 2 mile mark ok my thighs are sore, a little while later, they feel the same. There's almost no change no matter how far I walked, and I was mostly just remembering music.

So, I decided it's ok to go for a walk each day. But I might want to push myself harder, so I do short runs to wear my legs out. My heart condition seems good, but the rate my muscles all over recover is still below what I'd consider normal, and can't compare to the best running condition I've been in.

[Pfotegeist]

My weight's doing a balancing act between 187 and 190 pounds. Clearly it doesn't want to lose weight, and it throws out anything extra. That is what it should have always done.

At this rate exercise doesn't have any effect on weight. It strengthens almost everything about the human body, catabolizes old cells, increases circulation, and fights entropy, so it is by no means pointless.

Starting January I'll focus on fat loss, a ketogenic diet starting during the winter.

I'll definitely be back in a working groove soon.

I submitted my job application unprofessionally so I won't expect anything from that.

[Pfotegeist]

I think because my body is getting closer to state of wellbeing, I keep getting the impulse that I should be doing something about it. I'm only halfway through the big part of the recovery period so I am expecting too much. I have the urge to try to work, but another part of me is saying to keep waiting for the change to stop. There's a part of me that usually complains about the temperature shifting 5 degrees Fahrenheit, and keeps me in bed extra long, I think it's the same one.

[Pfotegeist]

I was trying to think of what might actually be the leading factors in my life that might have caused my personality to express differently, DNA is just one, adversity another, actually training my mind and body to reach its peak, despite later getting hit by adversity and nutrient deficiency that would erode my DNA even more. Seems like a pretty standard uphill battle. But this morning Youtube recommended this:





But why stop there? There are three sections of the brain that process information layered from the brainstem and outwards
1 The reptilian or cockroach brain which regulates autonomic behaviors.
2 The cortex
3 The neo cortex

And there is a separate system of memory storage and retrieval.

That's not all of it though.

Your stomach synthesizes protein and DNA, as soon as you eat a little something in the morning. The influence of nutrition and hydration affects your DNA expression, it alters who you are a little at a time.

Bacteria, microbiome, and the lymphatic system work together to keep your body clean. This is like a cephalopod's network of brain cells. It too requires nutrition and hydration.

Your spine is also capable of responding to stimuli before you even know what's happening.

So, what's the breakthrough?

Oh, there was a big critique in some videos I watched about how the highest accolades in science go to people who live in a small corner of their left brain. To be truly human would require a greater understanding of the human body. My left brain was not given an advantage, because I barely talk. My DNA was given the worst odds at expressing itself, because of potassium deficiency, which might have actually caused my microbiome to flourish and take over while my lymphatic system slacked. So, just how different am I from the average person?

There are many more than two that must cooperate to create the appearance of one.

[Pfotegeist]

I also thought this morning that pfotegeist could end up meaning a few things

pfotegeist
1 (medicine) The lack of DNA expression caused by potassium deficiency. This results in drugs failing, and all assumption of how your body works failing.
2 (homeopathy) A three month long diet to min max potassium daily 2500mg for females, 3500 mg for males, varies by weight. Probably more effective than bringing your girlfriend chocolate.
3 (psychology) When your upstairs neighbors hit the ceiling so hard you can feel your spine shake, etc. and all you do is write about it.

Origin: It's the Zeitgeist of animals putting their paws everywhere, and since Zeitgeist was a German word to begin with, and I liked the sound of Pfote, Pfoten meaning paws, it made sense. And I wanted to get the point of view of a bunny for a more accurate game development, it all goes together. Also the sense of being a ghost came from one movie about foster children who were smart enough to understand their survival, socializing positively, was entirely dependent on going unnoticed to avoid punishments until they were old enough to become independent.

I don't think I emphasized how bad the education system I grew up in is nearly enough. There's worse, elsewhere.

I feel drawn in by horror tropes and dark humor anyways, so it's not something everyone will come out with a semi realistic recollection of. For me to have something like PTSD would require my taste in media, and my own desires to somehow shut off completely, to the extent I am not even expressing my own preference of experience like a regular human would. That's basically what potassium deficiency was able to do, even before medical intervention (made it worse). It's a guarantee, nobody could solve this with modern medicine since it was designed to pretty much kill off people who have the same problem. Since nobody gets enough potassium in their diet, and the majority of people are trained to use their left brain, that's everyone.

I find it ironic that the neo cortex throttles or second guesses your cortex, so the left and right brain are somehow doing the same thing to reach conclusions. Based on that video the left brain doesn't actually care about realism, it will rely on training to explain things.

The rest of the body, the part that responds to the environment directly, potentially throttles brain activity for survival, or due to nutritional deficiency hyper-activates it to solve problems. Of course this is evolution driven instinct, it must override what you want, for what's best. And if you have nutritional perfection, you have 'mastered' your basic need for food, and you will be forced to enjoy life then.

Which part of the brain is better at writing fiction? Research says left brain does all communication, normally. To be creative you need to balance your left and right hemisphere activity. So normally, people have to be creative while they brain storm, and the communication or writing is separate. Weird.

So, theoretically, damage to the left side communication forces someone's right brain to compensate or take charge, making creativity stupidly simple. I don't like how that sounds, but the claim is the same damage also potentially makes people mathematical geniuses, and that didn't happen to me so it's most likely I barely communicated to begin with, allowing the creativity to take over.

This also makes continuous communication of reality, and thinking creatively on a daily basis, an overly costly process of hotswapping your circuitry, but not impossible. I think I want to give power back to my right brain as much as possible.

[Pfotegeist]

Car almost clipped my left ass cheek. I was practicing some of confident languid movement and didn't really respond, and waved to the two lanes that stopped for me on the opposite side of the highway a moment later. Roundabouts aren't really great if someone barrels through at 60 mph in front of another car, the one that I judged wasn't in any danger of hitting me. That driver is going into a mental hospital right?

My health all around is improving, quieting my limbic system, the subconscious telling me there's an overarching problem in the world I ought to be yelling out loud about if someone would listen. Things are  f i n e.





It kind of sums up what it's like to have your subconscious recede, and stuff.

Why does simply walking the intersection's crosswalk with light in your favor, and the motor laws, become a grandstand when your legs are too tired to jump out of the way?

Before the recent events I was pretty confident I could jump kick a car going around 30 mph and end up on the windshield with minimal injury, but things are a little different at the moment.
Hold on....

I've jumped off a roof and fell for almost two seconds, and the result says that's 44 mph, see, now I'm positive. Ok being conservative, it might have been one second, and I landed on both feet, nothing went wrong after that.

Alright, enough bluster. I might be back in that shape in a couple months, but if my legs are still getting tired from walking the tendons, and the muscles are still not behaving entirely normally.

For some reason my mental calmness has kicked in before anything else. So, if I try to rationalize this, I fail, and acknowledge there are so many ways that driver will massacre groups of people crossing the road.

Now that I am forced to think about it, street planners don't understand visibility or line of sight, the decisions are mostly driver-centric so that less visual information will distract them. You know who else benefits from this design choice? Race horses.

[Pfotegeist]

I'm doing a little revenge economics in my head. Convince car insurance companies to charge people more each year. If I learned anything from my landlords it's that people will start taking the bus if you drain them dry.

I have another story, while I was going to college I think I saw a little kid driving, the car got pretty close to my face that time because instead of driving the same speed down the road, they hit the gas when I started crossing the street.

I have another story, someone was out walking her rabbit and a drunk driver slammed into a wall next to her.

I have another story, I was sitting in the grass stretching me leg, and the stupid landscape decision of having a tree in the line of sight of the road pretty much implied someone would have ran over my head while I was doing the stretch.

I have another story, in elementary school, there was a kid who had his leg run over. And I wrote a get well card like we were told to in class "You're lucky your head didn't get run over." And I was right, the teacher overreact, I was telling it like it is. See, the illustration in the card, of car tire marks over a stick figure's head, described it in better detail, why having your leg run over is the better option.

And these aren't really near death experiences. Some piece of shit snapping your wind pipe shut could be. Getting tired while swimming could be. Going to the hospital and getting drugged, and waking up with a heart rate of 100 bpm could be, a pretty good sign you've been suffocated and your right ventricle expanded.

[Pfotegeist]

I clearly under react in every situation. I had to sleep on it, and wake up, before I acknowledge the mundanity of almost getting hit as a pedestrian is just a sign of how little people deserve that type of power. Obviously, the timing for some kind of revenge is never in the moment, that's meaningless. When automatic car accidents are so close to zero insurance companies are only paying out 99% to manual drivers, they will know where the money is at. So, getting mad and suggesting that the future is going to be affected by six local events is not realistic, not actually getting injured in all these events is also not realistic.

[Pfotegeist]

I made some adjustments to the way I handle the traffic.

Now, I'll simply say I have some ideas about keeping my potassium among other vitamins in check while losing weight. Mostly I want to see if I get a deflated feeling, after exercising for weight loss, I often feel like my muscles don't recover.

Of course this endeavor may be handicapped. My body is clearly unhealthy still, it's supposed to release epinephrine from different places, a response to muscle use, that burns fat. SO the goal would be after a noticeable amount of fat burns, hydrate, drink vitamins, see if I feel tired after a month of repeating this.

The other thing was endorphins behave the same way. Muscles in intense pain, here's the endorphins, and those even go to your brain to supercharge your focus and you enjoy the activity, your adrenaline gland works harder, your muscles become stronger for the duration of time.

I want the latter two paragraphs to become a, yup my body is doing this. Right now it's like, well, my legs get tired and they're pretty much dead, but they're not completely in pain so maybe it's a mental defense I haven't dealt with in a long time.

[Pfotegeist]

I'm awesome. I'll be sure to note if any other objective changes happen before January, when I intend to be fully immersed in development again.

For now, the recent potassium influence.

Started drinking potassium. Nothing really happened immediately, potassium isn't a drug. After a week I thought my heart rate increased. Needed cardio exercise to improve circulation anyways. . . improving circulation, and starting to sweat normally. My forebrain is possibly more abrasive to society than my limbic system, I rationalized that even if I can't believe it. I had a vivid dream about carrying a pocket sized fairy out of nowhere. I had other less impressive dreams.

Been eating fruit and avoiding meat with dairy in the same meal. I gave up on gluten but I'm eating plenty of carbs to counterbalance exercise.

[Pfotegeist]

I'm considering a serious choice. So, would I rather think about Ai or Education? Could I do both at once? One of the holy grail of video games is a virtual pet, that is basically as smart as a real animal. I don't think I can pass up seeing that happen.

I know I want to do more writing this month. But it seems like my habits haven't changed, and even have gotten more energetic from exercise. Youtube's trying to feed me videos about quantum mechanics I can't understand, for now. I've been slightly compulsive about taking the information that seems useless that I absorbed, and putting it to use because of some inherent fear that maybe I can't figure out the bigger questions, even ones that I barely touched because there's a lot of math. I was told by someone once math was not really anything magical. I've read while programming that math is actually slow compared to pure algorithm control logic because of how processors work. So if I do end up making mistakes while contemplating the nature of the universe, and people think it's a little too hard to understand, I get it, someone can translate my English to math later once the phenomena is observed and discussed more discreetly. It's just space porn to me, and I take it serious.

[Pfotegeist]

I'm not supposed to be done until November 20 but I already feel alright. My only issue seems to be fat and some inflammation. I will stay the course anyways. Maybe something can change that I've never seen before.

[Pfotegeist]

My health is par, and my sleep has progressed to worse than ever. When I stop healing I am probably at danger from the bit of damage on my right side that hasn't healed completely, around my neck and lung.

From what I know, and experienced from medicine, it won't do anything.

I've been hearing about this thing called neuralink for some time, but I'm not sure if it can clean out prions, or somehow do the same job my pineal gland and thalamus are supposed to be doing.

At this point Elon Musk has proven he can be trusted by me.

So the claim from what I read online is I have a year and a half to live, after the sleep is at its worst. Since I'm healthy and my sleep's never been worse, this time it is for keeps because there's absolutely nothing I can do on my own that would continue improving it.

Now I'll proceed to meditate under the impression that I can do something.

Miguel Nicolelis has worked on brain-machine interfaces. My guess is he was ahead of his time, because I can't imagine the technology he used before now was very accomodating.

That's about the same amount of recognition I gave neuralink. I'm still avoiding having to resort to such invasive intervention. I was vegetating without potassium and one hour of sleep. Now, I'm just kind of balding because of loss due to medication, and my scalp hurts after I took the weekend off from exercise.

I think the year and a half to live part is quite false after the recent changes.

And I personally had no clue you could do anything to the spine by stimulating the brain. It's obviously a gray area for me.

[Pfotegeist]

I have to face the fat, it's terrible, it is getting in the way of even circulation and continuing to cause health issues. I'm going to lower my exercise intensity, and on the 26th I'll start keto, I will prioritize the potassium requirement, but I need to write down how I'll actually eat enough calories to avoid a rash. And this time no cheat days, I'll be going for walks instead of runs because it's unlikely my muscles will fully recover until I'm well into the diet.

Oh I just realized. I guess I might lose some muscle, but it turned out that by improving my circulation my muscles become way stronger anyways, so priority goes to circulation.

[Pfotegeist]

If anyone's willing to admit they don't completely understand something with incomplete research and openly conjecture why something doesn't work based on real-world research I'd be interested. But if someone just says wrong, pay attention, it feels like a bait tactic and I reframe it as a challenge to disprove them.

If I forget where I put something I check my pants.

[Pfotegeist]

I went to my doctor appointment. He won't have any of it. If My pinky bone is bent 30 degrees, it doesn't matter if it's annoying me now. So in 10 years if you're a doctor you better be an adequate game developer, gamer, game aficionado, or voluntarily undergoing extensive gene therapy routines for medical research.

[Pfotegeist]

I can't imagine a worse job than one when you read information from a computer screen and seriously believe someone should still be taking drugs that were killing them.


I can't imagine a worse job than one where you say you're managing other people's health and then in reality you're rolling dice.


I can't imagine a worse job than one where you say you have to actually try really hard for a college degree, and you suck at it a little less than anyone else in your location, pass, and so you prescribe stuff from an algorithm.


I can't imagine a worse life than one where you identify yourself as a job.


So, I imagine wanting to program video games, not learning a thing about it and then I just tell my ai assitant what it should be developing. Actually pretty cool sounding.

I imagine wanting to heal people and then all I do is tell people I'm such a great person who understands other people, and there's a robot on site 24/7 who does my job, so I just make phone calls all day to tell people I'm such a great person who does his job. That's what it'll be like for people who still call themselves doctors if they haven't found anything real to do.


Oh they're a doctor, they have a family already because women throw themselves at doctors. I wouldn't go bragging about that.

[Pfotegeist]