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[Mir@k]

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/257548

As i mentioned before, my goal is to make good orchestral music for games on this site.
Ok, so last time i came here i made a thread asking for critique on an orchestral variation i had made of a song from a videogame, this time i made something ntirely original and followed the tips you guys gave me, i played with the velocity on each istrument on different tempos and i finally came up with this.

How does it sound?

[Problem Machine]

I can really hear some Uematsu in that flute part. I don't like the string instrument it starts with; drawn strings are incredibly tricky to get to sound right, because samples have constant tremolo where an actual player has constantly changing tremolo. It overall sounds pretty good, though I think the beginning is the weakest part. If it's easy for you to do with your software, I'd suggest dropping some blanket reverb and maybe a touch of distortion in just to tie all of the instruments together and make it sound like they're in the same space. Play around with it and see if you like the sound better.

[Craig Stern]

Okay, here is my critique--things I liked, and things I didn't:

Like
--Good job setting a mood.
--I like your use of sleigh bells.
--Good use of woodwinds overall.
--The flute part around 2:30 is great; I like the section that follows it at 3:00 as well.
--The ending is nice; very understated, and gives it room to loop.

Dislike
--There are a few wonky notes here and there.
--Between 0:54 and 2:03 doesn't do it for me. It feels like a let-down after the intense build-up of the first 54 seconds.
--I also don't think the harp is the instrument you want to use for your lead, starting at 1:36. That sounds like more of a concert piano part.
--The background harp sounds too mechanical to my ears while it's doing its arpeggios; I'd try adding a bit of variation in the velocity/timing.
--The use of modulation to increase tension at 3:27 seems a little hokey to me.

This isn't your first original piece, is it? If so, this is a fantastic place to start at! If not, well, it's still pretty good. Hope that helped.

[Havok]

Very very good! I actually listened to the whole track and enjoyed it very much! Kobel's complaint about the string sound is valid but that may just be because of the quality of the samples you are using. If it is you won't be able to easily do any better with it. To work with the portamento between the string notes you could do as he said with dropping reverb but you may also just try overlapping the notes slightly (SLIGHTLY!) in the sequencer to get a more gradual change from note to note.

ACTIVATE CLASSICAL MUSIC TRAINING

From :00 to 1:00 you have a great build but it is just to repetitive. It only takes a small change. The third time you start the figure change the second and third note so the listener immediately is engaged again because something new just happened. You do not have to change much and can keep the overall feel just mix it up a little. The fourth time add a secondary melody with your viola where you have most of the strings doing your figure and the viola's doing a different figure melody in the middle of everything else. Maybe triplets or eighth notes. Make it interesting! It will immediately make the piece more engaging.

Same thing with the harp. The harp sound is great at the beginning but the figure is to repetitive. Instead of going 12345 try 13245 on three and 35421 on four. For interests sake. You also have the harp featured throughout the piece. In different areas try using piano in place of it. In another area try pizzicato strings (especially 1:00 to 2:00) with 1234 notes being plucked by cello, viola, 2nd violin, 1st violin respectively and mixing up the figure so it doesn't get boring.

Don't worry about the "wonky" notes. They are all in the scale and some are surprising but it is because they are new and fresh. Makes it a joy to listen to. The last minute of the piece is really great. My only suggesting is drop the harp and put a piano in place but give it a more busy texture as it builds to the end. The tensions and releases you build throughout the piece (like the frustration of a climax at 1:00) works extremely well making the piece interesting and causing the listener to want more. A page right out of classical music. (You wonder how got away with 20 minute movements to symphonies? For that exact reason.)

END MUSIC MODE

Fantastic! The suggestions above are little and would just push your piece into greatness. I wish I had written it! Please be sure to post more stuff you do or at least send it to me!

[Mir@k]

I knew i'd do good asking for critique here, thank you all for taking the time to write such lenghty reviews, i assure you i'll do my best to take them into consideration, also Havok i thank you for all the tips, i'll be sure to check out everything you said in order to fix this piece and for the ones to come, i'm afraid i didn't see your post in time so in the latest fix i didn't review the pizzicato and note difference you mentioned, but i'll be sure to try everything out.

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/257548 <- I replaced the one submitted with the new fix, i fixed little, i entirely replaced the harp for concert piano (you were right guys, the sound is just something different, it sounds better), changed the high pitched violin from the beggining alongside a few notes from the piano sequence and overlapped them so that it sounded fluid enhough, added a little something on the end and lowered the volume of some percussion effects on the last minute.

Thanks again for everything, i'll take all into account for my next compositions. :D

[Havok]

It was my pleasure! And the piano is definitely a positive change. Good work!