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TIGSource ForumsPlayerGeneralExtensive monocle creation guide for gentlemen and such. etc.
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Author Topic: Extensive monocle creation guide for gentlemen and such. etc.  (Read 74666 times)
Kinten
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« on: December 04, 2007, 11:36:59 AM »

Extensive monocle creation guide for gentlemen and such. etc. in the wake of recent increase of demand.
(Results may vary)

Materials
1 piece of paper
1 piece of see-through plastic (for seeing through)
2 pair of hands
1 spoon
1 cupcake (for when hungry)
1 Plastic sword (for cutting)
1 Pair of scissors (for holding down paper when cutting)
1 table (for defying laws of gravity)
1 plant (for stylish appearance)
1 butler (for holding the plant)

Instructions
First, take the piece of paper and tear of 1/3 along the longest edge.



Now that you have your base template, we want to make it as round as possible. For total success, use something round to shape it around. In this example I used the lens cover of my pictograph. You may use
whatever you feel like, a coffee cup, an orange or something of the likes. A banana won't do. Maybe two put together, but I wouldn't recommend it.


This is a picture of me performing the second and most important step in the monocle creation process.


And the result..

Now, take the pen and with a steady hand draw a smaller circle within the hole-less monocle. This is for reference when cutting.


Now use something extremely sharp to cut the hole, preferably a plastic sword as seen depicted below.


Use the hard table behind the paper to counter the pressure of the sword. Hold the sword far up on the handle for precision. Cut slowly. Your muscular movement should mimic that of flowing water.



This is tape. Persons challenged in the arts of fancy paper folding might want to use it for holding together purposes.

Now to the actual lens, for this I use something transparent. A plastic folder will do. Cut it as round as possible, using the plastic sword.





For final effect of tremendous glory and awe-generating powers I add ornamentation for display of strength and success. This to stand out in a crowd of monocle-enhanced gentlemen. I myself use plastic paper clips
of various luxuriant colors. As an apprentice however, you are not allowed to use plastic paper clips for risk of personal injury.


One can not help but to stand in awe of it's shininess. 


In final presentation and photographic depiction use the person holding the plant as background. Strike a pose of dignity, gazing into the distance like portraits of olden days.


As you might have noticed, I used excess paper to form a formidable mustache.

For publishing on the internets, use tools and gadgets of manipulation to create a sense of refinement and that of aging of the paper.

Final result:



I wish you all the best of luck! If you were to successfully conceive a monocle, please send a picture to [email protected] (or reply to this post) for publishing in a future booklet or for achieving forum badge.

Best of wishes,

Sir McKintensauce



PS
This here be my first post! Hello world!
« Last Edit: December 04, 2007, 05:57:19 PM by Kinten » Logged

Alec
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« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2007, 11:41:00 AM »

 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

best first post ever?
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fish
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« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2007, 11:42:13 AM »

you win the internet.
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Stij
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« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2007, 11:42:36 AM »

Best first post ever, indeed.

*tophat flies off*
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BMcC
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« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2007, 11:52:38 AM »

POST OF THE CENTURY  Kiss
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Golds
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« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2007, 12:41:14 PM »

Amazing.  I must make a home-made monocle.
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@doomlaser, mark johns
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« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2007, 12:49:17 PM »

I think everyone should do this and post a picture of themselves with one. :D
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Kinten
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« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2007, 12:54:43 PM »

I believe a most hearty thank you is appropriate for such a warm welcome!
Rest assure, a badge well matched your efforts is to be had by anyone joining the club of self-indulging monocle-men (and women or such)!
Gentlemen (and gentlewomen), time is of essence! Now is the hour of change!
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Tr00jg
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« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2007, 01:39:57 PM »

The plastic sword is classic! You win the internet!
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shinygerbil
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« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2007, 02:42:14 PM »

*monocle pops out*
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olücæbelel
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« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2007, 05:59:22 PM »

Say my good man, a most warm welcome to the forums!
                              /
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« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2007, 02:41:22 PM »

YOU'RE WINNER!
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Melly
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« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2007, 05:24:08 PM »

Most epic first post ever.
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« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2007, 07:53:46 PM »

I say...
Capital!

Welcome!
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handCraftedRadio
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« Reply #14 on: December 05, 2007, 08:27:11 PM »

My dad actually works in a monocle factory and this is nothing like how they are made.
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Smithy
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« Reply #15 on: December 05, 2007, 09:34:14 PM »

Whoa!

I'm going to create a monocle for both eyes, and then I'm going to throw away my overpriced glasses!

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Kinten
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« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2007, 09:12:51 AM »

Why thank you all!

My dad actually works in a monocle factory and this is nothing like how they are made.

My good sir, I believe a fight to the death is necessary to settle this matter.
Shall we say Sunday night, at moonrise, by the townsquare?
« Last Edit: December 06, 2007, 09:27:57 AM by Kinten » Logged

Melly
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« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2007, 09:47:41 AM »

Will that be a pistol duel or a fencing fight?
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« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2007, 11:09:48 AM »

My god was that awsome. You, sir, win many internets.
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Kinten
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« Reply #19 on: December 06, 2007, 01:20:29 PM »

Will that be a pistol duel or a fencing fight?

Well I think it is rather clear we will have to duel like the days of old, using plastic swords. That or the ol frapper avec les poissons. It all depends of course on the spirit of my opponent.
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