I moved it to Technical. The Feedback forums are for games only, but you should be able to get feedback here for technical ideas.
Having read the abstract and introduction from your paper, and glanced through the rest, I'd suggest that you make it more clear what the problems are and what the goals are. Theoretically, I should be able to understand your intentions from reading the abstract/intro. As it is, it's fairly incomprehensible.
Some questions to ask:
What complex systems are we iterating through?
What is the current state of MMO games and what are we trying to fix?
How is this better than other approaches?
In a good paper, the basic concept can at least be understood by a layman, if not the details. More specific ideas and concrete examples would go a long way in making your paper clearer. A "distributed approach to delivering a multi-user experience" is pretty vague when you really sit back and think about it.
But I don't know, I was never much of an academic. Just my opinion.