next »

[J. R. Hill]

Man when you put it that way I've ended a lot of stuff!

[Bree]

To be clear, a story shouldn't necessarily end with a twist. Don't fall into the M. Night Shamalamadingdong trap of forcing yourself to come up with some clever twist- more likely than not, you'll just piss off your audience. In literature, stories are about characters- they undergo a dramatic change, or come to a vital realization, this event being the climax of the story. Afterwards, the story can tie up as many loose ends as it wishes, to show how that change has affected the character and everyone around them. Perhaps you need to approach the story that way.

[Zenorf]

It's a sci-fi story with a "Little House on the Prairie" feel(The prairie being an uninhabited planet).

Your family get clearance to start a new life on a recently discovered uninhabited planet.
After settling for a few months the winter sets in. It's dark and bleak. Death from exposure would result from any length of time outside.
But your family is not alone. no life signs are detected but you see shadows, only shadows and no form. You touch one and it's so cold you lose two fingers almost instantly and now they are aware of you. Aware of your heat. They want it.
As you hide inside they start to damage your home, freezing parts and you can hear the structure start to crack and sheer.
You have to get your family out, somehow, somewhere. Using whatever heat sources you can find and starting as many fires as possible you distract the shadows as you get your family to your buggy.
You flee, you drive for hours with nowhere to go and the cold slowly creeping in on your life. You watch helpless as your youngest child starts to succumb to hypothermia. Perhaps the shadows would have been the lesser suffering.

Hope!
You detect another energy source. You drive not knowing what you will find.
A huge structure. It looks human, but you thought you were the first, the only.
The structure lets your buggy enter. Warmth but what is this place.
You get your family to a safe location and start to explore.
It's some kind of scientific base. No one is here. It's deserted but the power is on. Everything is still running.

Finally you find a communications relay. Perhaps someone can get to you in time.
You call for help. A man answers and you explain everything that's happened. He cooly states that they will be there as soon as possible.
You wait for hours. You wait for days. you watch the cameras. The shadows have followed you, slowly drifting in after your tracks. You lock down everything but start to hear that familiar cracking. Hours pass and you retreat further and further into the center of the complex. Locking down sections as you go. How much longer can you and your family hold out.

The military arrive. Thank god, but what can they do against such creatures.You hear the screams but before long there is a knock at the door. You open it and several military special ops enter. They sit you down in the corner with their weapons drawn as they try to retrieve something from the computer systems.

You watch in horror as another few men bring in what is unmistakably a large bomb. They arm it right in front of you. The leader removes a computer data disk and nods to the troop in front of you as the others leave the room. He apologizes seemingly sincerely before cocking his gun and you understand his intentions.

A scream from outside interrupts his concentration and you tackle him, knocking him unconscious. You close the door before the others can return and pick up the gun.

You unlock the other door. You know where the complex shuttle bay is. You quickly guide your family as you hide from soldiers and flee from the shadows. A soldier pops out in front of you. You flee the other way but a shadow stands before you. The soldier shoots but a shadow envelopes him and he hits the equipment in front of you. If explodes and you feel the sering heat burns at your skin. You recover and a man drops dead in front of you.

A man. not a shadow. A human, in a lab coat. These things used to be us. Everything is clear to you now. It's a military weapon that went wrong, or was this it's intended purpose all along? The military need to cover this up and you are just another loose end.

Your anger drives you forward. You get to the shuttles and get everyone aboard. The military leader talks politely over the radio. "Don't try to flee. We need to debrief you and disinfect you. Your whole family is infected but we have the cure." For a second the horror of the possibility stops you in your tracks but you dismiss it as a trick. You see the military shuttle rising from the other side of the complex.

You turn to your wife and kids. Tell them to get in the shuttle and fly. Fly as far away as they can as fast as they can. Your wife cries. She knows you too well. Your children don't understand. You close the door on them, a single tear rolling down your own cheek.

You jump into the second shuttle as your family take off in the first. The military ship approaches. You wait for the moment. They get close. You kick in the engines. Jets firing. Afterburners firing. You pile into the bottom of the military ship and it reels to the side missing your family with its initial barrage.  Damaged it spins to face you in your deteriorating ship. You Kick in the after burners once more and charge. Sparks flying from control systems and fires bursting out all over the place. You watch as you family jumps to hyperspace.

A final moment of happiness. A victory for a husband and a father.

The moment lasts forever but is gone in an instant. Your ship collides with the military shuttle. A final collision for both ships.

Cue credits (with really short piece of music)

Gagege and cheese

[jwk5]

To be clear, a story shouldn't necessarily end with a twist. Don't fall into the M. Night Shamalamadingdong trap of forcing yourself to come up with some clever twist- more likely than not, you'll just piss off your audience. In literature, stories are about characters- they undergo a dramatic change, or come to a vital realization, this event being the climax of the story. Afterwards, the story can tie up as many loose ends as it wishes, to show how that change has affected the character and everyone around them. Perhaps you need to approach the story that way.

It's not necessarily bad to end a story with a "twist ending" so long as it fits the theme and feel of the story and feels appropriate. In reference to M. Night Shyamalan, "The Sixth Sense" had a pretty clever and appropriate twist ending, "The Village" and "Unbreakable" were at least a little interesting with their twist endings, but the others were pretty much just pointless attempts at shock value (in my opinion).

[TobiasW]

Have a character go to a writing coach early on the game where he is given a quick lesson and is instructed to never use a deus ex machina because it is a poor storytelling device, then have a random character be introduced at the end who saves everything.

People will see you as a genius writer who masterfully used a deus ex machina ironically.

It'd also help if you game was about a struggling writer and the story was told completely first person.

What game/book/film are you referring too? (I hope you are, I want to play/read/watch it!)

[Bree]

I saw shades of Adaptation, which was a script written by Charlie Kaufman about Charlie Kaufman trying to write a script. Quite a lovely movie, from what I remember.

[Zaratustra]

In tears.

[Zenorf]

tears of sadness,
tears of joy,
tears of laughter,
tears of pain (cause it was a porno and you caught yourself in your zipper when you did it up at the end)

[drChengele]

I like circular structure - i.e. a story that ends in a similar vein to its beginning. The main character is in the same locale as where the story started, or in the same situation, or he utters the same sentence, etc. The differences between "now" and "then" become pronounced that way, and we get to see how the protagonist grew, and all stories are about growth and progress.

Well, it's either that or kill off the protagonist in an awesome way preferably involving thermonuclear explosions.

[Zenorf]

My small space ship explosion not do it for you then 

[drChengele]

^ Well, it's never explicitly stated that the ships DON'T have fusion reactors...

[Gagege]

Sorry Zenorf but that explosion what just a little too modest .
JK


Edit: Any innuendo in this post was unintentional. I have a knack for accidental innuendo...

[jotapeh]

I like circular structure - i.e. a story that ends in a similar vein to its beginning. The main character is in the same locale as where the story started, or in the same situation, or he utters the same sentence, etc..

Ah yes, the King comes back, your uncle recovers...

[gunswordfist]

you should write the end first, then work your way back. that's the best way i've found to do it. i believe that in immortal defense, for instance, the writer came up with the ending idea first, and then we worked our way back and filled in all the details necessary to make the ending work.

From some screenwriting back I've read, I heard it's good to write the ending first. Yes I know, I know, "Game and movies are different" but knowing where you want to take the story sounds good to me.