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[Smithy]

How appropriate, you fight like a cow. You know, since you said I fight like a dairy farmer. Which is something on which I strongly disagree with you, by the way. I believe my fighting is versatile and no like that of a dairy farmer. Or any farmer, for that matter.

 


Oh yeah!? Well, you're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee!

[Renton]

Oh yeah!? Well, you're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee!

I look that much like your fiancée? I mean; she literally looks like a monkey. With the big lips and nose and all. And she has a hunch back. And big hands. Really big. Like giant hands.

[andy wolff]

Look, a three-headed monkey! No really, it's right there! Dammit, it dissappeared. Why didn't you look? It was really there just now. No lie.

I do not like green eggs and ham. They just kind of put me off a bit, what with all the green-ness. I mean, any meat that's green is usually rather rotten, so it just weirds me out to eat meat or eggs that are green.

Does this look "inanimate" to you, punk? If I can move and I can talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want? Are you implying that I am less capable than you just because I'm a plant? Maybe I should file a complaint to my superiors, saying the humans were harassing me and being plantist. You wouldn't like that much, would you?

Save the cheerleader, save the world. I haven't a clue why this would be the case, but seriously, you'd better go save that damn cheerleader or we'll all be shit outta luck, my friend.

[battlerager]

Save the cheerleader, save the world. I haven't a clue why this would be the case, but seriously, you'd better go save that damn cheerleader or we'll all be shit outta luck, my friend.

With dialogues like that, it would be the best show on TV evar.

[Cerogravian]

You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? Because if you are lucky, then I've already fired 6 shots, and you'll get out of here alive, but if you're not lucky that means that I only fired 5 shots, and your head will be blown clean off. Or maybe that's just if I'm lucky. But me being lucky would certainly entail a whole lot of bad luck on your part. Not that it's relevant to neither your actual luck or your options on what actions you should take if you feel lucky...
You know what, nevermind, I'm going to pull the trigger now, and I barely even care anymore.

...PUNK!

[Tanner]

War. A series of battles. Always. Men fighting, sometimes living, sometimes getting injured, sometimes dying. Guns are typically used in the fighting, but sometimes bombs and shit are used, you know? But it never changes.

[Tanner]

War, that is.

[Tanner]

I mean that war doesn't get different.

[Tanner]

Or something.



















Yes, this was intentional. I thought it would add to the experience.

[battlerager]

Yes, this was intentional. I thought it would add to my postcount.

[Tanner]

That's funny because you ruined a quote.

[r.kachowski]

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE PENIS!! I MEAN FRIEND. FUCK"

[Alex May]

Just the fax ma'am. Yes, the facsimile on the paper there. It was a pun, referencing an old cop show called Dragnet (maybe you've seen it) where one of the cops says "Just the facts ma'am" a lot. In point of fact, this is a misquote and indeed even attributed to the wrong character, but I really don't have time to go into too much detail with you now as I have some terrorists to stop. Suffice it to say that it is just one of those common misconceptions that people have. Google it if you need to. Oh wait, Google won't exist for another eight years. OK, well just take my word for it. I really have to go. Bye! And by the way, I'm married [shows wedding ring] but very flattered that you asked me out for a drink, I can't do that; all I really need is this facsimile.

[jjs]

Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

Bwahahahahah... I didn't need to change a thing!  How delicious!   

[Cerogravian]

Bwahahahahah... I totally misunderstood the whole purpose of this thread!  How delinquent! 

That quote, good sir, is riddled with awesome, and is in no aspect, and absolutely not by your hand, ruined.

[jjs]

Indeed it is, good sir.    However, the "ruined" quotes in this thread themselves are awesome, in a rather similar style.

[andy wolff]

"Damn dirty apes! Why don't they wash effectively?! Not only do they smell, but they take over the civilizations of cleaner races with their greater intelligence and overall superiority!"

"  ... *excitement and surprise* ...  Oh no! I've been discovered! ... *exclamation*" -Snake

"Revenge is a dish best served cold. With a healthy serving of pain, chives, lead, and green vegetables. Also orange juice. And arsenic. A balanced diet is important to good fitness, you know."

[shinygerbil]

My eyes! The goggles do nothing! When I say that, I am of course speaking comparatively; the goggles still have an effect, of course, but this effect is minor compared to what is happening to MY EYES! Really, these goggles are excellent, but in this particular situation they serve no purpose; hence my slight hyperbole about them "doing nothing". Well, I guess I've learnt my lesson - hyperbole can be grossly misinformative.

I wish I'd bought stronger goggles.