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[december]

When the only way you can tell if a character is a guy is by the size of his chest.

Does not apply to Nippon Ichi titles

[Xotes]

When your main character jumps on a meteor, rides it down to crush his enemies while laughing manaically, and when the animation is over there's not even a scratch on the battlefield.

I STILL LOVE IT.

[TeeGee]

speaking of JRPGs, who here got The World Ends With You? It's one of the most unique and innovative RPG experiences I've ever had.

Word! Currently on the 3rd day of the last week.

Get's a bit repetitive at the end and I'm constantly pissed by having to look into the wlakthrough to see what pins evolve how (it's a fucking handheld and I still need a PC to play it!  ), but the game's still totally awesome. I totally love the frantic, chaotic, simple-yet-deep battles and various options to raise the difficulty for extra rewards. The story is a mixed bag, but in general it's cool and pretty original. Also, the games has style and it follows it perfectly.

[dmoonfire]

When your main character jumps on a meteor, rides it down to crush his enemies while laughing manaically, and when the animation is over there's not even a scratch on the battlefield.

My favorite on that is FF7, I believe. Where you get the cut scene animation of the planets lining up and a beam of force shattering through all of them to slam into the party. Then you blue magic it, steal it and do it twice more. The number of times Pluto died...

...when you see more than 3 zippers on a single item of clothing.

Or at least 4 belts which serve no purpose whatsoever.

I love Lulu. I have like 4 RPG (two homebrew, a Hero System, and an Exalted Abyssal) characters based on her alone.

I'll also add another when.

... when you are playing a game where you need a skill to wear a hat and somehow, it just seems reasonable.

... where you can blow through a monster, not even taking a single pip of damage, yet somehow you are breathing hard and gasping for breath at the end of the fight.

[Noyb]

When you control a total badass who apparently does not understand the concept of sleeves.

When giant monsters can hide in ankle-high grass.

When knee-high rocks are impassable.

When you can walk into someone's house, steal their stuff, but never be called out about it.

[Etaoin Shirdlu]

When this video accurately describes what you're playing.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ybLSwFUmMjE
CHAOS NOSE GOBLINS!

[Melly]

Would be a totally awesome B-Game compo entry.

[reetva]

When you go Elvis-style and shoot the whiny bitch on your TV screen.

When you hit an enemy in between the eyes with a sword, only to see that you caused one damage.

When you begin to obsess over "'Em all."

When your little brother is playing Final Fantasy one-bazillion and you scream "God no!," kick the game system off the table, and bring him to rehab.

[Moosader]

...when you see more than 3 zippers on a single item of clothing.

Or at least 4 belts which serve no purpose whatsoever.

hahahaha.


When you don't actually swing a sword, but have to choose from a MENU to execute an attack or use an item.

Probably the main thing that bugs me about JRPGs.  Since I had FF1/2 on GBA, I would power level by running left/right while doing other things, then just hold "A" during a battle until the victory music plays. Then repeat.

[cyber95]

...when you see more than 3 zippers on a single item of clothing.

Or at least 4 belts which serve no purpose whatsoever.

hahahaha.


When you don't actually swing a sword, but have to choose from a MENU to execute an attack or use an item.

Probably the main thing that bugs me about JRPGs.  Since I had FF1/2 on GBA, I would power level by running left/right while doing other things, then just hold "A" during a battle until the victory music plays. Then repeat.

This is not exclusive to JRPGs.

[Bree]

When every single attractive female is in love with the protagonist, who is either a whiny jerk or a whiny prick.

When the hero feels so inadequate that he must carry a sword that's bigger than him.

When the hero must save the world and destroy an evil ruler... after delivering mail across the country, breeding random animals, and winning a poker tournament.

When, instead of just rushing forward and stabbing the thing in the chest, each character politely waits their turn to be slaughtered by mutant cacti.

[superflat]

Someone needs to start a counter-tread called something like 'You know you're playing an Army+Aliens-USAFPS when...'  It's only fair!

[Bree]

You know you're playing an American FPS when every male character is bursting with muscles, but still feels the need to compensate with a big gun.

[Massena]

You know you're playing an American FPS when every male character is bursting with muscles, but still feels the need to compensate with a big gun.

And veins, you forgot the veins. Very, very big veins.

[superflat]

You know you're playing an American FPS when every male character is bursting with muscles, but still feels the need to compensate with a big gun.

They have female characters? 

[Moosader]

...when you see more than 3 zippers on a single item of clothing.

Or at least 4 belts which serve no purpose whatsoever.

hahahaha.


When you don't actually swing a sword, but have to choose from a MENU to execute an attack or use an item.

Probably the main thing that bugs me about JRPGs.  Since I had FF1/2 on GBA, I would power level by running left/right while doing other things, then just hold "A" during a battle until the victory music plays. Then repeat.

This is not exclusive to JRPGs.

Never played a non-JRPG that has menu-based combat, except for Septerra Core.
It's super-common with JRPGs, though.

[Shambrook]

...when you see more than 3 zippers on a single item of clothing.

Only if its designed by Tetsuya Nomura

... If you want to get the gameplay bits out of teh way so you can just watch the cutscenes.

[superflat]

You know you're playing a JRPG when the first hour of battles give experience to an extremely badass character that ends up leaving your party as soon as the massive intro ends.

Haha I can think of about twenty off the top of my head.  In fact I just tucked into the GBA Riviera: The Promised Land last night and did exactly that.

[siiseli]

... When most characters hair denies the laws of physics

[TeeGee]

http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

All have been said...