next »

[Sandtiger]

Dear TIGSOURCE,
 
Hi, my name is Tomas Quinones. I graduated Champlain in 2011 from the EGD program as a game designer.
 
I am making a serious effort to make some progress on a game script that had its origins in an idea that I came up with the year before I came to Champlain, 2005. In junior year, I fleshed it out into the first full act of a full game script during Narrative Writing class and got an A- from my teacher that semester for all my hard work. Since then, I've added roughly another half an act to what I had then, so roughly half of the total story is done, and the script is now 140 pages. (I have planned 3 acts of roughly 10 missions each) In addition to that script, I also have 2 character sketches that one of my classmates, Tyler Clark, did for me at my request, as well as several of my own hand-drawn maps of various places around the world of the story, and a set of Excel spreadsheets that I am using for character statistics purposes. I have also got a general idea of what I want to do for a combat system, but I need to talk to a programmer, probably, to figure out the exact details of whether it's actually feasible to have that actually work. There is currently a facebook group set up to discuss all things game related, of which I am moderator, and I have several people from my college and from my friends who are interested in helping out, two of whom are Game Design students.

Now... it's obvious that I have a lot of stuff to share here, and I really, really want to try to make something happen, but there are a couple big problems.

Problem A: I cannot pay anyone for the efforts for this. I am currently jobless and have been jobless for more than a year. I also do not have any leads on a job currently, although I'm going to be in touch with someone in a couple of days who might help. The upside to this is that if we get this project to some form of completion and present it somewhere that a game developer will see it and like it, we can all share royalties from the profits. Students: if you can work with your teachers to get any sort of course credit from college from working with me, be my guest. Just be aware that you WILL be signing a contract (which I have not yet made up, but I can do that easily if I see interest here) and you may have to be willing to work remotely with me since I live in Massachusetts.

Problem B: I do not know anything about programming, and I know from my experiences in Champlain that I am a TERRIBLE choice for being any sort of programmer because programming confuses the hell out of me (which is precisely why I chose to take almost no classes at all that had anything to do with programming while at Champlain). I would also much rather leave the artistry to people who are better at it than me (like Tyler, or at least people who are as good as Tyler is) because I am an okay artist, at least for design purposes and once in a while for things like portraits, but I do that rarely anymore.

So my question here is this... is there anyone here who'd be willing to help out on this for a summer project or something? If anyone IS interested, please PM me via the site's chat service and I will see what I can do to get you in. This project is very much still in the planning stages, so I badly need an artist and a programmer, (not going to worry about sound until way later) but I am open to other designers coming in who are willing to contribute. It would especially help if you're any combination of the design/programming/art disciplines.
 
Sincerely,
 
--Tomas Quinones

[Dacke]

You should probably try to get some programming know-how. Even if you don't think you'll become a good programmer, I believe it to be a necessary skill. Unless you understand what can be done you'll have a hard time designing a good game. You also have to be able to reason in a structured (programmatic) way to design levels, systems, etc.

It's also semi-pointless to design stuff like maps before you design game mechanics.

Now... it's obvious that I have a lot of stuff to share here, and I really, really want to try to make something happen, but there are a couple big problems.

I'm afraid I have to tell you: no, it's not obvious that you have anything to offer.

From what you have told us it sounds like you are a writer rather than a game designer. If so, you should try to prove your worth as a writer. Perhaps post some examples of what you have written and the maps you have designed?

Most people already have ideas about what they want to do. So if you want others to work for you on your project, then you must have something really interesting to bring to the table.

But you may be in luck: programmers (like me) tend to have detailed ideas about game-play mechanics. Artists tend to have detailed ideas about style. If you are open to different game-types and art-styles, then someone might let you contribute with a story on top of that.

..provided that you can show the value of your script etc.

[ink.inc]

^

[Sandtiger]

Dacke: Thank you for your advice, it was very honest and thought provoking.

To answer some of your concerns:

1. I do have some programming knowledge, enough to read the language in a program and understand that, for example, OK this is a loop and it's doing this; I just don't have the interest or the knowledge or the patience necessary to actually go in and write an entire program on my own. I do understand the terminology that I see programmers use, for the most part, though, and worked closely enough with my junior year programmer that I once identified the exact few lines that he needed to delete in order to make a level run properly.

2. I'm actually fairly paranoid about sharing my written work anywhere as far as this particular game goes because I'm deathly afraid of someone copying my idea, but I would be willing to share a few scenes out of it to illustrate the quality of my writing. I am also willing to share the details of the game mechanics that I and the people I'm talking with on facebook have come up with so far if you'd like to hear about those, and I have links to the maps I designed for my junior year project. Art style I'm more or less perfectly open to discussion on, and the game mechanics are still very much a work in progress, so I will take all the help I can get on that.

Thank you again.

--Tomas

[Dacke]

1. Oh, I see. That's perfectly fine, then. From your first post it sounded like you were completely clueless, but you were just sandbagging

2. This is a fear you should try to cure asap. Ideas are not hard currency; without execution they are nothing. There have been thousands of great game ideas thrown around on this forum over the years. Only a small fraction of them have resulted in actual games. The risk that someone will "steal" your idea is close to non-existent.

And even if someone was inspired by your idea, the game they would create would be something completely different from yours. Another game with a similar story, theme or style does not compete with your game at all. That's simply not how culture works. You would be more likely to have people making positive connections within that genre/style:
"Oh, so you like game X? Then you should totally check out Sandtiger's game, it's where the original idea came from (and it's even better!)"

But that's just a hypothetical scenario. As I said, the chance that someone will copy your stuff is extremely, extremely low. It's just too much work to make a proper game for that to happen.

The problem is that unless you show stuff to people no one will ever join you. So your choice is between "secret pipeline idea" or "public idea that possibly could become reality". It's your choice

But you can of course post excerpts that don't reveal the basic premiss. Or cencor/rewrite sensitive parts. If you can show that what you have is qualitative, then someone might be interested enough to contact you for a private reading

[Sandtiger]

Dacke: Thank you for your advice. After due consideration, I've got a sample text of the first three scenes of my script to show. I hope this helps. Please let me know if you find it interesting enough to ask further questions. I will reveal the basic premise of the game story, so that any confusion from reading the scenes is cleared up: As the game starts, demons have decided to make a move and enter the human world. The game follows a soldier in Ellyria named David, and his captain Brian. There are several other main characters in the game to fill out the roster of David and Brian's unit (Adrian is one), but the main focus of the story is on David and Brian. I have also got a fairly detailed idea of what I want to do for a combat system, which has been under discussion in the Facebook group that I mentioned earlier, but I don't want to reveal that here for now because I think that it would be fairly technical to pull off and I want to talk to an interested programmer about it. So, like I said, read my script and see if you're interested enough in the idea, and if you want to talk further, send me a PM.

Thanks again!

--Tomas

Tomas Quinones
Lifting the Darkness: A Soldier’s Memoir Sample Text
9/22/2011

Introduction

CUT SCENE 1

LOCATION: Main screen

SOUND: None

CHARACTERS: None

INFORMATION CONVEYED: Introduce the three nations of the continent and a brief overview of the past thirty years.

Fade to black.

Overlay of the World Map appears on the screen.

NARRATOR

Long ago, in a world far, far away, magic and medieval weaponry mixed freely. All was not harmonious, but largely, the three nations on the continent, Ellyria, Ironholde, and Jordana, were content to remain at peace for the time being.

For more than three generations, the periodic warfare between the three countries has been stagnant. Each country has thus far preferred to enjoy their relative peace, lick their wounds, and recover their strength. For thirty years, people have not had to look forward to the Headman’s axe descending upon others’ loved ones when the cornfields turn ripe. This hard-earned peace is fragile, however, and soon a small border skirmish will turn to war between Ellyria and Ironholde.

Fade to black.

CUT SCENE 2

LOCATION: Hell, in a demonic castle.

SOUND: Lava bubbling, hissing steam.

CHARACTERS: Baalzephon, Demoriel, two un-named demons, and Abigor.

INFORMATION CONVEYED: Introduce Baalzephon, Demoriel, and Abigor, and show that the demons are planning something big.

Fade in to a castle, set against a hellish landscape.

ACTION: Inside the castle, a knock at the door sounds. Baalzephon is resting in his lair inside the castle.

NOISE: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

BAALZEPHON
What is it?

(UNSEEN VOICE)
Sorry to disturb you, my Lord… but we found a deserter.

BAALZEPHON
Execute him. You have exactly one second to tell me what you fools are doing disturbing me before I break down this door and turn you into wisps.

(UNSEEN VOICE)
It’s Demoriel, sir.

BAALZEPHON
What?! That’s my best scout! Why the HELL was HE deserting? I want explanations, captain.

(UNSEEN VOICE)
Yes sir. He was caught with some of the crystals, sir.

BAALZEPHON
That stupid, lying, son of a succubus!

(UNSEEN VOICE)
That’s pretty much what we said, sir.

BAALZEPHON
Bring him in here.

Two anonymous demons come in, carrying a third demon between them.

DEMORIEL
Ooooh…

DEMON 1
Ah, shut up you…

NOISE: Slap!

DEMON 2
You were never good for anything anyway.

ACTION: Demon 2 kicks Demoriel.

BAALZEPHON
Leave him here.

The two demons salute, and leave.

BAALZEPHON
Why, Demoriel? And don’t play games with me. You were a good scout, damned good… so why the betrayal?

DEMORIEL
Haha… hahahaha… Arianrhod promised much… Soon I will be with her, Baalzephon. And then… you won’t be able to touch me.

BAALZEPHON
What was Arianrhod going to do with that crystal?

DEMORIEL
Like I’ll tell you.

BAALZEPHON
Damned idiot. You’ll die quick at least. Enjoy the flames of hell, Demoriel.

He kicks the figure kneeling on the ground before him.

BAALZEPHON
Guards!

The guards enter again.

BAALZEPHON
Take him out of my sight and execute him for treason.

DEMORIEL
Nooooooooo! Please my lord, I’ll be good, I will!

BAALZEPHON
This is a war, Demoriel. I won’t tolerate disobedience. Guards, get him out of here.

The guards frog-march Demoriel out, and Baalzephon turns to the window.

BAALZEPHON
Fools… we’re so close, and yet so far. Soon, though, it won’t matter. But we’ll see who’s laughing last when the invasion commences.

Baalzephon crosses to a mirror on the wall and concentrates a moment. The image of another demon appears.

BAALZEPHON
My lord Abigor, the traitor has been found and executed, as ordered.

ABIGOR
Good, Baalzephon. That’s one less thing to worry about. How are the crystal shipments holding up?

BAALZEPHON
We are running short, my lord. We have many transport devices ready to use, but to do everything you asked of us, we will need more crystals, from somewhere.

ABIGOR
I will be helping you with that soon, Baalzephon. I have a lead on something that will help us reach our goal. For now, cease operations on the devices, until we can have a reliable supply of crystal.

BAALZEPHON
That is good, my lord. I look forward to seeing the fruits of our labor.

Fade to black.

GRAPHIC: Act I: A Demonic Uprising

GRAPHIC: Chapter 1: Arrow’s Ascent

CUT SCENE 3

LOCATION 1: Practice field of the Ellyrian base camp, in the Feywood

LOCATION 2: Barracks of the Ellyrian base camp

SOUND: Clash of wooden swords, battle cries

CHARACTERS: Brian, David, Adrian, and Harry

INFORMATION CONVEYED: Introduce Brian, David, Adrian, and Harry, tutor the player in basic combat mechanics, inform the player that he will be promoted soon, and introduce Adrian as your best friend

Action: David and Brian are sparring in the middle of a woodland clearing. Wooden swords are being used, and they are in padded armor. It ends when Brian disarms David, sending his sword spinning away.

BRIAN
Very good, David. You’re getting better.

DAVID
Not good enough to beat you yet, though.

BRIAN
You are still good enough to take on most soldiers and win. I am happy that you are progressing well. Let’s test some of your other skills, however.

Control at this point reverts to the player.

BRIAN
Alright, David. First up, is a spear wielder. Let’s test how well you do against people not wielding the same weapon as you. Adrian, are you ready?

ADRIAN
Ready and willing, sir.

BRIAN
David, are you ready?

DAVID
Absolutely, sir.

(Tutorial Fight #1 ensues)

BLURB: When on your own, it’s often important to pay attention to the way your weapons match up. Swords have an advantage against axes, while spears and lances have an advantage against swords, and axes have an advantage against spears and lances.

When David defeats Adrian:

BRIAN
Good job, David! Now show me that you can use teamwork. Harry, come on down. David, I want you and Harry to work together, show me you can use some of those double attacks that I’ve been teaching you.

(Tutorial Fight #2 ensues)

BLURB: When fighting enemies with a party member present, it is often to your advantage to use your combined strength to defeat foes. Physical attacks can often be combined with magic to create devastating blows! Try one of them now.

When David and Harry defeat Adrian:


BRIAN
Good job, David! Well done, everyone. Harry, Adrian, you two are dismissed. Thank you for your help.

ADRIAN
No problem, sir.

HARRY
Anytime, Lieutenant.

BRIAN
David, with me a moment.

DAVID
Yes sir?

BRIAN
I think you’re going to be promoted soon, David.

DAVID
Really, sir? What makes you think so?

BRIAN
The men all like you, and you have shown that you can take charge of a situation and do well, given responsibility, and you are a good fighter. All are necessary qualities in the Ellyrian officer corps.

DAVID
I did not know I was so highly regarded sir.

BRIAN
By me, you are. Would you accept the position of 2nd Lieutenant in the 75th Ellyrian Army regiment if I offered it?

DAVID
Yes, sir, I would. I’ve wanted that position for some time now. I think I could do well at it.

BRIAN
You should be hearing something one way or another within a few days. I think I’m going to talk to Cordelia now, and see what she thinks as well.

DAVID
I will be waiting with bated breath, sir.

Fade to black.

[Miguelito]

 I was firmly in the camp of "Typical idea guy, pay no heed" (sorry), but your writing sample is very solid - you should definitely be billing yourself as the writer here first and foremost, it makes your role so much clearer.

 Some suggestions from my side:

1.) You should probably make things more specific and explain more about the actual gameplay. As it stands, we have "focus on narrative" (interactive or not?) and "combat". Now will this be a VN interspersed with simple combat screens? Or SRPG levels? Or a full-blown RPG? The swords-lances-axes thing seems... inspired by Fire Emblem - will it be just that?
 These things make a huge difference, and allow people to judge whether your projected mancount of three is actually feasible.

2.) Your artist will definitely appreciate a detailed visual description of each character and location. Your script is fun to read, but it's important to write out the "setting the scene" aspect which is otherwise done naturally by the graphics.
 If you want to put in the extra effort, it's going to be very useful to think of several poses/emotes for your characters and insert them directly into the script - escpecially if they change during dialogue. That way, the artist can already think up a "shopping list" of poses to draw and finish.

 In any case, good luck!


 P.S.: As a sidenote, it makes me smile to see devils and demons use "hell" and "damned" like a human would - I'm actually thinking they'd come up with new expressions, because you'd think hell and damnation would be distinctly mundane concepts to them.

[Sandtiger]

Thanks Miguelito!

1. Copied and pasted from a discussion I had on facebook with someone about the gameplay: Imagine a combat system that's basically a combination of Chrono Trigger and Fire Emblem... You have three main characters in your party at any one time, plus disposable units on the field with you to fill out your army, and the map is like a chessboard, you move around to different tiles to position yourself. In order to do combat moves of more than one person, you must have at least two characters at a maximum distance of two squares from each other. When you do combat moves, your characters are able to do double and triple attacks (like in Chrono Trigger) where the animations are such that they can move anywhere on the board to do their animations, but when they finish the combat move, they come back to their original spots that they started from. From there, the enemy team takes their turn at moving around and attacking, and the game continues on like that.

The above, is why I need to talk to a programmer... I have no idea if this is actually possible to do and I don't know how it would be pulled off in terms of programming.

Yes, it is an SRPG in the style of Fire Emblem... I wanted to create a Fire Emblem-ish game with the idea of making it the spiritual successor to Chrono Trigger in terms of combat. (God I loved Chrono Trigger, one of the best parts of my entire childhood... I did play Chrono Cross but I hated it, couldn't even finish it because I thought it was just terrible) Chrono Trigger's combat system was intensely enjoyable and engaging for me and I still have fond memories of all the double and triple attacks that were possible in that game, and I have always been baffled why some developer did not work further on the combat system presented by Square-Enix in that game. It seems like a colossal missed opportunity. The only thing I've ever experienced that even comes close is the ability you have in the Dynasty Warriors games to place two player-controlled characters next to each other and do a double Musou attack (which I still love watching when it happens, although I don't play Dynasty Warriors games anymore... nothing puts a smile on my face quite like the pyrotechnics that happen when you both press Circle at the same time. FACEMELT TIME, BABY!).

Oh yes, a final note... The general plan at the moment is to use Unity as the game engine, or something similar to Unity. I did a strategy RPG game with my Junior year team in Unity that proved to me that doing a turn-based strategy game was possible in Unity. It was called Ruin, and we worked with a tileset in that game to create the levels.

2. Here is the background I wrote up for David; this is what I presented Tyler with when I asked him to do a drawing for me of David.

David – main character; newly minted officer (2nd Lieutenant)
Height: 5’6”
Weight: 150
Age: 21
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Black
Skin color: Brown
Weapon: Sword/Shield
Description: David has had a hard and sometimes unfair life. His parents died when David was 10, and the local church took him in. One day, while at the church, he came upon a young man about his age, praying. David asked what the man was praying for, and was answered, “For guidance in life… Rhiannon sometimes answers if I pray hard enough.” “I will pray with you then,” David said. “I need guidance as well.” After they were done, David and Adrian introduced themselves to each other, and became strong friends. At the age of 18, both David and Adrian were drafted into the military. Since then, David has been a competent and loyal soldier for his unit, and has worked hard to become an officer worthy of leading. He is filled with joy after earning his sword, and resolves to do his best to deserve it.

On another note, I think that you are right about location descriptions. I will have to work on that a bit further, since I do have definite ideas about the scenery around which the game is set.

http://tomasmquinones.wordpress.com/my-work/images-from-lifting-the-darkness-a-soldiers-memoir/

This page has all the maps and pictures that I currently have made (or had made by Tyler). As of now, as far as what the architecture actually LOOKS like, I only have ideas about Ellyria; but the city layouts are there to be worked with. In case you're curious, Ellyrian civilians live in adobe yurt-like huts which were like tents in that they could be moved; the nobles live in more stable dwellings that still look like yurts but... larger, more like the houses we know of today. I had the idea that Ellyria started out as a nomadic, horse-riding people somewhat like the Mongols and eventually settled down into cities that actually had a firm purpose to protect their own territory.

I hope this helps.

--Tomas

[Dacke]

Your writing is pretty solid and quite fun to read. It would be interesting to know how well you manage to develop your characters and story over time. But I guess I'll have to find that out when I play your game.. assuming you don't make it with Unity, which would make it unplayable for me

The above, is why I need to talk to a programmer... I have no idea if this is actually possible to do and I don't know how it would be pulled off in terms of programming.

I haven't played Fire-Emblem or Chrono Trigger (OMG! I know! I should!), but what you described sounds completely doable. Anything that is both turn-based and grid-based is relatively easy to program, even if you have complex interactions between units. Actually making it look good with characters running back and forth over the entire board.. that sounds like the big challenge. But from a programmer's perspective: no problem.

Oh yes, a final note... The general plan at the moment is to use Unity as the game engine, or something similar to Unity. I did a strategy RPG game with my Junior year team in Unity that proved to me that doing a turn-based strategy game was possible in Unity. It was called Ruin, and we worked with a tileset in that game to create the levels.

This is something you should leave mostly up to your programmer. You can create an RPG with almost any game library or system, with Unity being very low down on my list.

If you can show the work you did on this game Ruin, that would also be good. It's always more attractive to work with someone who has actually completed a real project.

[Sandtiger]

Ruin First Drafts: http://tomasmquinones.wordpress.com/my-work/ruin-first-drafts/

Ruin Photoshops: http://tomasmquinones.wordpress.com/my-work/ruin-photoshops/

Ruin Final Products (Note: no, I didn't do the artwork, that was done by two other people who were on my team. I WAS the level designer though and the levels were set up in the manner that I set them up in the original first drafts): http://tomasmquinones.wordpress.com/my-work/ruin-pictures-final-products/

YES! YES YOU SHOULD PLAY BOTH GAMES! SUCH GOOD STORIES, OMG! ESPECIALLY PATH OF RADIANCE! OK I'll stop now... Thank you for your advice on the programming, I will keep it in mind if I ever find someone who's actually interested in working with me. And thank you for your compliments on my writing, it's good to know that other people like it.

--Tiger

[MadWatch]

As others said you shouldn't worry about people stealing your idea, there is no risk of that happening. The reason is that all the people talented enough to make a game come to life already have tones of good game ideas. Why would they steal other people ideas ?

Alright, you've posted the beginning of your story and I feel that I should comment it. Here are the thoughts I had while reading it and imagining I was playing it. I hope they will help you. (of course everything I'm going to say here is only my humble opinion, and I'm not a writing expert)

"Long ago, in a world far, far away, magic and medieval weaponry mixed freely. All was not harmonious, but largely, the three nations on the continent, Ellyria, Ironholde, and Jordana, were content to remain at peace for the time being."
Alright, yet another classical medieval fantasy game...

"BAALZEPHON
That stupid, lying, son of a succubus!

(UNSEEN VOICE)
That’s pretty much what we said, sir."
Funny, these demons have sens of humor.

"BAALZEPHON
Take him out of my sight and execute him for treason.

DEMORIEL
Nooooooooo! Please my lord, I’ll be good, I will!"
Why is he begging for his life ? A second ago he was defiant and now he's afraid of dying ? Did he expected anything better after being caught ?

"But we’ll see who’s laughing last when the invasion commences."
Alright, yet another evil villain who wants to take over the world...

"BAALZEPHON
My lord Abigor, the traitor has been found and executed, as ordered.

ABIGOR
Good, Baalzephon."
God job ? So he knew there was a traitor amongst his ranks ? But it seems he didn't do anything to catch him. He was just lucky his guards got him.

"BAALZEPHON
We are running short, my lord. We have many transport devices ready to use, but to do everything you asked of us, we will need more crystals, from somewhere."
So he knew he was going to run short of something he absolutely needs but didn't do anything to anticipate it ?

"Wooden swords are being used, and they are in padded armor."
Classical boring tutorials coming in...

"You are still good enough to take on most soldiers and win. I am happy that you are progressing well."
Classical young and good hero cliché...

"BRIAN
Good job, David!"

"BRIAN
Good job, David!"
Again ?!



So yes, at this point, to me, the player, it feels the that the game story will be nothing more than the typical overused medieval fantasy story, with a good pretty hero fighting for great justice and a big bad ugly villain who wants nothing less than the whole world for himself.

I'm sure your story have more to offer than that, but this intro, while well written, doesn't makes me believe the rest of the story is going to be interesting. I think your intro lacks of something to hook the player and makes him want to know what's going to happen next.

Ballzephon bugs me. He seems to be the commander of some demon army so I expected him to have a smart and calculating mind, like a chess player. But his behavior makes it look like an incompetent fool.

Also, this is a long introduction already and most players don't like long introductions as they prefer to be thrown in the action quickly. I know story based games need long introduction to setup the world and introduce the characters, but it is really necessary to do all that in the intro ? For example, the narrator's description of the world at the beginning could be put later in the game. Look at Ocarina of Time for example, the story of the world of Hyrule, the Triforce and the goddesses isn't told until you finish the first dungeon.

Well, I don't know if you expected any comments. But I hope they will help you.

[Sandtiger]

Hi Madwatch,

Thanks for your input. To address the concerns you had:

"Ballzephon bugs me. He seems to be the commander of some demon army so I expected him to have a smart and calculating mind, like a chess player. But his behavior makes it look like an incompetent fool."

Baalzephon IS actually pretty smart, and what I was trying to convey (subtly) within the story was that he and Abigor knew about the traitor, had figured out that the traitor was siphoning off part of their crystal supply, and had set a trap to catch him. It turned out to be Demoriel, who Baalzephon had thought was very loyal and a very good asset, which he did not expect, hence his reaction when the guards brought Demoriel in. I guess I should rewrite that part somehow to make it more clear. And yes, Baalzephon is the commander of the demon army in the story.

DEMORIEL
Nooooooooo! Please my lord, I’ll be good, I will!
Why is he begging for his life ? A second ago he was defiant and now he's afraid of dying ? Did he expected anything better after being caught ?

In my game, the demons have more or less human traits on a personal level, despite their superhuman powers and strength. I was trying to convey that, like anyone/anything else, Demoriel is very afraid of dying when it comes right down to it, although given that he was being a traitor with full knowledge of the consequences perhaps I shouldn't have put exactly that reaction in. When I first wrote this, I believe I was trying to give the demon somewhat of a bipolar personality anyway, but apparently that's not a good way to go here. I'll change it.

BAALZEPHON
We are running short, my lord. We have many transport devices ready to use, but to do everything you asked of us, we will need more crystals, from somewhere."
So he knew he was going to run short of something he absolutely needs but didn't do anything to anticipate it ?

No, not exactly. What's actually happening is that there is an abundance of the crystals in hell that they need, but in order to make the massive amount of transporter devices that they want to use to send their demon army through, they have to find ANOTHER supply to complete things. This leads to them finding the crystals in the human world and is the reason why they start getting involved in human affairs. The demons originally thought that they would HAVE everything they needed when they started all this, and now they're figuring out that that's not true. Both Abigor and Baalzephon thought this, so blame is shared equally.

"Wooden swords are being used, and they are in padded armor."
Classical boring tutorials coming in...

Yeah, tutorials are boring. I'd like to make them otherwise but this little scene was the best I could come up with to both advance the plot and show the player the basics of combat. If I think of something better to do, I will add it in place of this scene.

"BRIAN
Good job, David!"

"BRIAN
Good job, David!"
Again ?!

Heh. Good catch. That shouldn't have happened. I deleted the 2nd, repeated phrase, so now it looks like:

When David and Harry defeat Adrian:

BRIAN
Well done, everyone. Harry, Adrian, you two are dismissed. Thank you for your help.

Also, this is a long introduction already and most players don't like long introductions as they prefer to be thrown in the action quickly. I know story based games need long introduction to setup the world and introduce the characters, but it is really necessary to do all that in the intro ? For example, the narrator's description of the world at the beginning could be put later in the game. Look at Ocarina of Time for example, the story of the world of Hyrule, the Triforce and the goddesses isn't told until you finish the first dungeon.

This is a fair point, and one that I will have to give some thought to, although I'd like to point out that some of the Final Fantasy games, and Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance had a similar setup to this, and they turned out fine. Like, in Final Fantasy X you had that whole long intro to Tidus and a cutscene where his city gets destroyed before you can play even a lick of combat (one of the more annoying things that happened in that game, but despite that opening it was still very popular). Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance has an introduction similar to this where Ike and his father and... someone else, I think it was Boyd, are practice-fighting in a woodland clearing and you get to learn about the combat system through that, and I thought that that intro was fine and the rest of the Path of Radiance story was fantastic. There's a lot more introduction than just what you see here though so I've realized that I'm going to have to somehow cut it down and make sure that the player doesn't go through whatever-long it's currently set at to get into a real fight.

Thanks again for your thoughts!

--Tiger

[Sandtiger]

As an update to this post, would there be any artists out there who would at least be willing to do character sketches for me that would flesh out and illustrate all of the current characters that I have named and described so far in the game? Payment could be discussed for that if it's not too expensive.

Thanks.

--Tiger

[Miko Galvez]

1. I do have some programming knowledge, enough to read the language in a program and understand that, for example, OK this is a loop and it's doing this; I just don't have the interest or the knowledge or the patience necessary to actually go in and write an entire program on my own. I do understand the terminology that I see programmers use, for the most part, though, and worked closely enough with my junior year programmer that I once identified the exact few lines that he needed to delete in order to make a level run properly.

This is a basic skill everyone has. It's simple logic. Anyone can recognize all those things you just mentioned

[Dacke]

This is a basic skill everyone has. It's simple logic. Anyone can recognize all those things you just mentioned