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[rob]

I don't know how taking a year off would work, since I've been in school doing school since I was 4 or 5. In America, school is too expensive to just leave.

This. A million times this. I'm dealing with a huge spike in my anxiety right now because of my first year of school, and I can't balance dealing with it and keeping up with my studies. And because I want to go into comedy my studies have so little pertinence on actual career advancement (actually, because I'm so far from any comedy scenes / there are no open mics near me, it's hindering career advancement), I'm really just here for the degree. So the restlessness of that just makes me more anxious, and then more classes are missed and assignments ignored. I'd leave but I'm afraid of the job market/getting back into college if I change my mind.

I've also been having suicidal fantasies, but like you no actual consideration of doing it.

[Graham-]

Sabbatical isn't the solution. You have to do all the regular stuff. Sleep well. Eat well. Get good work done. Develop relationships. Go outside. Exercise a little.

You have to find the right things and do them. It's like becoming a better boxer. You have to work hard at leading a better life. The results will come slowly.

[Dacke]

A sabbatical isn't a solution in and of itself, no. The time away should optimally be spent doing worthwhile things and getting good routines.

But it can be very good to get away from school for a while, in order to get a better perspective on your life. If you've spent your entire life in school it can be easy to forget that the world is bigger than Hogwarts. For me it was completely necessary to get away a term, figure out what I actually wanted to do with my life and generally get my shit together.

[Graham-]

Yes it can still help. I didn't mean otherwise.

[Dacke]

hugs, then

[Graham-]

woah. 

[Eendhoorn]

I have just read about the heart surgery that I have to undergo soon. I somehow convinced myself that I would get narcosis. But I have now found out that I have to be concious while they perform the surgery. What a nightmare 

Yes, I'm a complete pussy.

[Conker534]

Yeah because only pussies sleep when they have there heart being worked on.

I'd probably kill myself (no not really) if I had to go through with that, I have a phobia with hearts, just reading the word freaks me out.

Good luck brother. Hugs.

[Blademasterbobo]

that actually sounds really cool to me 

[rob]

I have just read about the heart surgery that I have to undergo soon. I somehow convinced myself that I would get narcosis. But I have now found out that I have to be concious while they perform the surgery. What a nightmare 

Yes, I'm a complete pussy.

They're anesthetizing you though, right? And not letting you look, right? Please tell me I'm right.


ok my zoloft kicked back in fully and i'm fine with college, but i do have a bad case of the insomnias.

[Eendhoorn]

I have just read about the heart surgery that I have to undergo soon. I somehow convinced myself that I would get narcosis. But I have now found out that I have to be concious while they perform the surgery. What a nightmare 

Yes, I'm a complete pussy.

They're anesthetizing you though, right? And not letting you look, right? Please tell me I'm right.


ok my zoloft kicked back in fully and i'm fine with college, but i do have a bad case of the insomnias.

yeah, but it's not a pleasent thought knowing that they're cutting in you and stuff. I already get slightly panicked when I have to go the dentist, let alone this 

[Bandages]

ok my zoloft kicked back in fully and i'm fine with college, but i do have a bad case of the insomnias.

Yo I was prescribed anti anxiety meds on Monday but could only last 3 days before giving up. The side effect were worse than the anxiety. How long does it take to normalize to that stuff? I can't afford to transition during school but maybe this winter I might try again

[rob]

That's hard to say, really. The only side effect I experienced with Zoloft was drowsiness, and that was because I was taking way too much. I tried Prozac and it gave me terrible stomach pain so I went back to Zoloft.

Zoloft takes about three weeks to kick in. I'm not sure if this is the case for all anxiety meds, though.

[Bandages]

Zoloft takes about three weeks to kick in. I'm not sure if this is the case for all anxiety meds, though.

Yeah, I figured it'd take a few weeks. Big Pharma is so fucking awful, I tried calling the producers of Cymbalta to ask some questions but everything was met with "we don't have data on that". THEN GET SOME, FUCK. Oh well, their job is to sell drugs, nothing more.

I ended up seeing a cognative behavior therapist earlier today who told me flat out that if I didn't want to take drugs for anxiety that I have to exercise every day. Exercise is basically the only thing that can ease the tension my mind builds for itself. While that seems kind of daunting (I went on a run earlier and my body said "haha you fucking idiot") it's better than the alternative.

I just want to be healthy by January, because that's when I'm flying my girlfriend out across the country to be with her for a few weeks. If I'm still too sick to even wake up without feeling like shit, that'd be so terrible.

[baconman]

Talk to your doc about dosage. It's totally possible that you're getting too much or too little, and it's jerking your system too hard.

School these days is totally unrealistic. Having gone to about five post-H.S. myself, I can tell you, while the amount of work is necessary for learning what you should be learning, the frantic pace they expect you to keep up with is beyond unhealthy. It's like they're designed to be taken one at a time.

[Katie]

I just want to say this is a lovely thread idea. :D

I hope you feel better, Castle and rob. :[

[s_l_m]

If you don't have data on a drug, always consult Erowid, that shit has straight saved my life.

Also, y'know. My best friend went behind my back and started dating my sister who is like 4 years younger (and were 19 and we were like 17 back then, so do the math) and he told me like right after my Grandpa died and all my other friends say he will get what he deserves in the end and hes a jerk to girls but it sucks for now and I'm sick of other people having it so much better than me just because they are attractive and I thought I loved this girl and I told her and she used me to do a bunch of her homework and then told everyone what a loser I am but still hung out with me but then she pretty much told me I'm ugly and I asked her to prom just because I wanted a date (even a platonic one) for one fucking night and she said no but said she would save a dance for me but then disappeared when she saw me coming even though I worked out every day for like a month and ate healthy and dressed up and tried to look as good as I possibly could and then my Grandma died and I'm an alcoholic and I have done way too many drugs and the only thing I have ever been alright at is computers and I'm a cutter and one night I was drunk and told somebody and now everyone knows and when I was young they gave me a bunch of ritalin and dexadrin and wellbutrin and it really fucked me up mentally and I'm drunk right now even though its a Wednesday night and I hate when my family fights and all I can do about all this shit is put on my headphones, play Matisyahu and pretend like I don't care what people think of me



Sorry bought that yall... It's been a rough couple years. At least I don't have it as tough as Alan Turing did, eh?  

[clockwrk_routine]

don't worry things will pick up, most of those things you'll probably realize aren't such a big deal - just move forward and don't let things weigh you down so much. stay off the liqour too, it's no friend. hugs.

[Blademasterbobo]

You should probably see someone about this stuff

[louisdeb]

It's good you've found an outlet, some people can't even manage that. We're here for you bud.