next »

[Cheater‽]

I don't know what you're talking about with them voxels. Everyone knows Airship 2600 is rendered in czyxels, which are the industry standard in virtual building blocks for non-Euclidean geometry.

Well, objects. Terrain is done with hypercubes.

Also, I heard the LHC is actually powered by Airship 2600's awesome.

[moi]

I don't know what you're talking about with them voxels. Everyone knows Airship 2600 is rendered in czyxels, which are the industry standard in virtual building blocks for non-Euclidean geometry.

Well, objects. Terrain is done with hypercubes.

NO. IT'S DONE IN TIMECUBE.

[michael]

[handCraftedRadio]

I guess that is one of the children's worship ceremonies for the game. Let's just hope this isn't one of the ones that get violent.

[shinygerbil]

I...I saw one turn nasty one Sunday, long ago.














..

[Cymon]

Oh man, I missed it the first time. Glad I looked twice.

[Tanner]

Little known fact: Jesus Camp is a mockumentary spoofing a long-lost documentary on Airship 2600.

[Seth]

You know I really liked this game, everything was just superbly executed in every way... it was kind of amazing... but then I got to the survival horror chapter... i still dont like to talk about it

[Chris Whitman]

Yeah, I got together with some mates to have a few beers and play Airship 2600, and let's just say 'survival' might have been a bit of an exaggeration.

Rest in Peace, Steve...

[Cymon]

Little known fact that Airship 2600 was indirectly responsible for the World Trade Center in New York falling.

(Take that overly sensitive American infidels.)

[shinygerbil]

I heard that Airship 2600 designed the Olympic ceremonies for China, but the Chinese had to painfully reduce everything to use just 3 spatial dimensions, and a single time dimension, which made it look pretty shit in comparison.

You know that girl who was replaced at the last minute to do the singing? The girl who was supposed to do it was given the unmodified version in a rehearsal the day before. Now her face is folded up inside its own dimension. There was blood everywhere, I heard.

[Tanner]

I heard that Airship 2600 designed the Olympic ceremonies for China, but the Chinese had to painfully reduce everything to use just 3 spatial dimensions, and a single time dimension, which made it look pretty shit in comparison.

You know that girl who was replaced at the last minute to do the singing? The girl who was supposed to do it was given the unmodified version in a rehearsal the day before. Now her face is folded up inside its own dimension. There was blood everywhere, I heard.

I heard that the implosion made ripples that caused that guy's elbow to dislocate.

[Annabelle Kennedy]

I heard that Airship 2600 designed the Olympic ceremonies for China, but the Chinese had to painfully reduce everything to use just 3 spatial dimensions, and a single time dimension, which made it look pretty shit in comparison.

You know that girl who was replaced at the last minute to do the singing? The girl who was supposed to do it was given the unmodified version in a rehearsal the day before. Now her face is folded up inside its own dimension. There was blood everywhere, I heard.

ha hahahahah oh lord..

[battlerager]

I heard that Airship 2600 made Chuck Norris cry tears of joy.

[Cymon]

I heard that Airship 2600 made Chuck Norris cry tears of joy.

I'd been trying to relate Airship and Chuck Norris from the start, but everything ended up being Norris-isms with "Airship" replaced, and it seemed a bit thin. Nothing worthy of the awesomeness that is Airship 2600.

  battlerager.

[neon]

also, about the 60fps^2 thing.. true, however it stops accelerating around 9001 fps, at which it syncs with the speed of your brainwaves and only displays patterns on the screen.  when you see these patterns, your brain interprets them as the visuals of the game and you go into a vegetative trance.  the only problem with this is that you can never beat airship 2600.  ever.  nor would you want to.  thus, many people have died from starvation and ceasing to breathe while playing the game.  however, testimony from one survivor says that after ceasing to breathe, the game progresses to level 2, in which you hear and see the word "Airship 2600". however, the stress of such a mind-shatteringly orgasmic sensation causes many people's organs to rupture and thus, many people die during level 2.  however, airship 2600 does not stop after death.  oh, no.  in fact, level 3 is an exquisitely executed puzzle game \ shmup in which you painstakingly build a turbo-encabulator from citrus fruits, starting with the base-plate of prefaburolated amulite, arranging the 41 manestically spaced grouting brushes, and finishing by attaching the differential girdlespring to the grammeters.  the nofer trunions which you operate by means of this device summon the spirit of james brown, which takes you to level 4.  the disembodied spirit of the godfather of soul instructs you to then travel to africa to channel his spirit while riding a giraffe to rome.  during this brilliant platform sequence, you are actually ressurecting your dead body, preparing it for the next sequence of airship 2600.  this level usually takes an average of 1000 years to complete, give or take.  luckily, it never gets boring.  once you reach rome, you must launch a space program to fly caligula to the moon.  once this is completed, you have ressurected your body and are now a zombie.  of course, you don't know this, because you are now one with airship 2600.  by completing this phase, you have finished interpreting the first pixel at 0,0 in the 1024x768x32 arcade game running on the pac-man machine in the tavern miles above which airship 2600 is floating, waiting for you.

SPOILER ALERT:god is the first boss.

[Valter]

Explorer's log, 26 of August:

I have explored through many sectors of the internet, and yet I have found none so strange as this one. These primitive forum-dwellers, going by a clan name of "TIGS" seem to have advanced beyond the primates of most mountain-side forums, going so far as to declare their own god. At least, that is the only way I can interpret this phenomenon.

The seemingly fabled "Aiship 2600" of these men seems to represent the perfect gaming experience. Every man here interprets "Airship 2600" differently, but they all agree on one thing: "Airship 2600" is perfect. "Airship 2600" is a justification for the games they create, perhaps: each man here is trying to be the one who manifests the "Airship 2600" into a game. By manifesting him into the land by medium of the perfect game, the "Airship 2600" (I am sorry, they insisted that I never refer to "Airship 2600" in pronouns, or abbreviations) would cast "Airship 2600"'s shadow across the land, cleansing everything except for "Airship 2600"'s believers. "Airship 2600" would then rebuild the world, as a paradise in which every believer's perfect game were true.

It is all nonsense, and yet as I sit here writing this entry after my day's work, by now miles from the strange forum, I can not get the thought of "Airship 2600" out of my head. Images flash through my head... enormous gun battles! Medieval swordplay! Perhaps a touch of steampunk mech battles. It would be a time-travelling game, yes, passing through various histories and broken timelines. And the climax, it would take place on a giant flying craft, the "Airship 2600". Yes! This is it!

I Believe

[Melly]

Well Rinku, I hope you're happy.

[Chris Whitman]

Not Lovecraftian enough!

"On moonless nights, the people of TIGS gather under a great, cyclopean monolith of black obsidian, which stands in blasphemous nakedness amidst a grove of withered and ancient poplars. And under this rune-struck totem they perform forbidden, licentious rites, dancing and howling at the stars as the totem's eldritch symbols twitch and pulsate to some alien rhythm. It is on these nights when the boundary between worlds grows thin, when space stretches and warps and the influence of Airship 2600 is the strongest as it wraps its slime-slicked tendrils around our planet, standing out like the merest speck of light against the cold blackness of outer space, barely perceptible through the membranous veil of dimensions against which the mad god pushes and writhes tremulously.

"I bore witness to these rituals last night. Concealed in the fringes of their shadowy glen I saw the high priest, a sorcerer from the Orient with dark eyes shining madly through his unruly locks, come under the fevered influence of their profane deity, his body twisting and contorting impossibly as he plunged a glistening dagger into a young initiate, offering up his blood and organs in horrific sacrifice. I was gripped by an uncontrollable terror then, as the blood ran cold in my veins, for at that moment I saw him stare out into the darkness as the bloated gyrating form of Airship 2600 became barely visible in the darkened sky -- I saw him stare past the crowd of supplicants and look straight into my eyes!

"I am certain he saw me then, that his eyes burning with unearthly fire stared straight into my soul and implanted a seed of madness. I ran, ran through the woods like a maddened beast, screeching and tearing at my clothes. When I reached my cabin, sodden and bleeding from scrambling over rocks and through undergrowth in my terrified flight, I began to write this, the journal of my observation, in the hopes that others may discover it and avoid succumbing to the fate which even now draws nearer through the desolate night. Amidst the wind and the rain I can hear the screeching of the acolytes of Airship 2600, and above it all echoes the keening cry of the blind, mad god itself, waving its swollen, tentacular limbs in incomprehensible fury. My god, they are here... they... I cannot stop writing... they are coming through the walls!"

The journal ends abruptly here.

[Melly]

I'm not gonna save this post in the epic post thread cause Cake hogs that thread.