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TIGSource ForumsPlayerGeneralTIGSauce's most epic posts
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Author Topic: TIGSauce's most epic posts  (Read 203847 times)
Capntastic
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« Reply #860 on: August 14, 2016, 02:19:24 PM »

Can't believe antymattar's re-reg account didn't last very long
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Capntastic
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« Reply #861 on: August 14, 2016, 02:21:18 PM »

Froggy you were posting silly weirdo racist stuff, deleting your own posts, and stamping your little goat hoofed feet demanding to be taken seriously while also saying you're never posting here again.  

Since you deleted your own posts I couldn't try to defend you even if you wanted, and since you proclaimed that you were gone from this twisted place forever, I felt no reason to muster the energy to do so.

So yeah, through your own actions, you're a joke and it is actually not possible for someone to take your barnyard tantrum seriously.


Why are you a moderator.
[clutching chest] Agh...he got me!
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Silbereisen
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« Reply #862 on: August 14, 2016, 03:03:52 PM »

further, on a qualitative basis: what do you think is "good for you" about it?

if i seem abrupt or standoffish i apologise. this is non judgmental.

It gives you bone fractures, and if you get a hard cast you can have friends sign it, which is a nice social bonding experience. Social interaction is key to human well being.
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b∀ kkusa
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« Reply #863 on: August 15, 2016, 12:44:28 PM »

archiving in case of deletism
Why aren't you guys actually discussing Phil Fish by the way? I mean, I can understand the joke thread but not too sure why it'd be Phil Fish related.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, this place is a pile of retarded shit.

Is it because there's not much to say about him and you guys are making fun of it?

Points for effort, but no. This is the best they can do.

That pesky frog is gonna get it come Hell or high water

Haven't you figured it out yet... nobody cares. Nobody cares, dude. Becoming the moderator of a forum doesn't make up for high school. It doesn't change the fact that nobody retweets your self-proclaimed brilliance, either.

You can't do shit to me except remove my posting privileges on a website.

 Gentleman

Get some, sir.
look down a few threads on this board

This thread is basically annular onanism.

Kind of like what happens if you create an ouroboros out of a human centipede, where instead of assholes stitched to mouths you have everyone basically sucking the collective dicks of the person in front of them.

It's also highly exclusive. How exclusive? Looks like there are only about 5 people involved at this moment...

If you're a normal person reading this and saying... what the actual fuck is this? Your gut instincts are right. This place is cancer. Just go.
whats it like having your head up your on ass that far?

Jesus fucking christ, where the fuck did you come from? Do you just casually lurk waiting for shit to start so you can jump in? I bet you smell like Hawaiian Sweet Onion chips and sadness.

Oh look... you have a tumblr. So you basically subsist on nothing but bitching and drama.


This offends me as an animal owner.

Are you seriously advocating violence towards animals and mocking people with gluten sensitivity? What the actual fuck is wrong with this community.
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Capntastic
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« Reply #864 on: August 15, 2016, 02:51:19 PM »

Good recordkeeping Bakkusa
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Silbereisen
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« Reply #865 on: August 16, 2016, 05:17:00 AM »

Btw, can someone explain what hawaiian sweet onion chips smell like? Seem like they are some kind of american brand that i am unfamiliar with. Thanks in a dvance.
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b∀ kkusa
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« Reply #866 on: August 16, 2016, 05:29:16 AM »

kind of curious about those too:




Steampunk is definitely not about anime looking characters.
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JWK5
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« Reply #867 on: August 16, 2016, 05:40:00 PM »

They are fucking delicious and are actually my favorite brand of chips. They're basically "kettle chips" with a sweet Funyuns-like flavor.
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Silbereisen
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« Reply #868 on: August 17, 2016, 12:59:31 AM »

I kinda want to try them now.
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Silbereisen
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« Reply #869 on: September 16, 2016, 02:56:37 PM »

in 100 years conservative dummies will look at our fossilized facebook profiles and only see how cute and wealthy happy everyone was and push for cultural and structural regression in an attempt to restore a glorious past
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Schoq
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« Reply #870 on: September 24, 2016, 02:47:34 PM »

Except, of course, they won't: because technically and conceptually, what they're doing is so singular as to invite comparison with nothing less than the likes of Flashback, Abe's Oddysee, Silent Hill, Planescape: Torment, The Last of Us, Diablo, Deus Ex, Heart of Darkness, Syndicate Wars, Metal Gear Solid, Journey, Populous, Shadow of the Colossus: definitive works whose vintage is once-per-generation, and whose landmark experiences rest upon the more or less commercially-unfettered, creatively-unadulterated and temporally-unconstrained implementation of a consummate artistic vision anchored by the (often emergent, heuristic or self-referential) synthesis of mechanics and world-building into a transcendental narrative mythos which is structurally about as straightforward to emulate as complex organic life, and in execution every bit as irreducibly unique as an individual organism's living, feeling, dynamic consciousness.
I was mostly just impressed by the long unbroken but still easily parseable sentence
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« Reply #871 on: September 26, 2016, 08:20:32 AM »

hey, what happened with this game? it looked interesting.

 Cheesy what have you been doing the past 6 years or more. Minecraft has become a huge hit Tongue look it up. To buy an account its like $27 (for USD) and you can download the launcher for it to play (after buying though) at minecraft.net
The game has changed dude. The game has changed.
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« Reply #872 on: October 03, 2016, 01:41:17 PM »

Cymru byw hir.
welsh isn't a real language but a complicated scam for signwriters to make money. nobody speaks or reads welsh, and the mask slips if you take a train anywhere and the announcements in welsh speak gibberish and then say "platform" in english. how can you not have a word for platform: a bit of ground that you stand on. there are two options, either the welsh language is an elaborate ploy to trick people, or in the entire history of the language and its people nobody ever needed to talk about the floor.
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Manuel Magalhães
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« Reply #873 on: October 15, 2016, 03:46:05 AM »

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gimymblert
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« Reply #874 on: October 19, 2016, 12:55:27 PM »

The year is 2020.

Star Citizen has been released today. You were at work, so you could't download it immediately, but it killed you to know what the game is like. You can barely hold yourself back from clocking out form your cubicloffice, as your boss likes to call them, and go home to gaze upon the promised Ultimate Video Game Experiencetm. The seconds pass, then the minutes and lastly the few agonizing hours. You have done nothing all day, and neither have any of your colleagues who are glued to their Youtube Twich Streams where barely charismatic hosts are improvising themselves reporters to talk about the game. They are attempting to find out as much as possible about the game before playing it. Not you. You have decided to experience the game as it was meant to be played, from the beginning, not like all these infidels plebs to gaming that would soil the sacred experience of playing a game without any spoilers.

Finally, the clock rings. You get up so fast that your chair sticks to your well endowed bottom. You do not care about this however, as you struggle to shuffle your butt as fast as possible to your car, parked in the nearest handicap spot you could find this morning. You sit your chair on your car seat, start the car engine and drive your car wheels right home, breaking every known driving law of your glorious country, the US of A. You do not care that you are now in hot pursuit by at least 150 police officers, the CIA and all the major news outlets, who conspicuously avoid calling you a terrorist even though you've intentionally driven right in the middle of a children's park.

You arrive home. Your heart is pounding right out of your chest. Your eyes drool in excitement at the thought of finally playing Star Citizen. You get inside, barricade yourself knowing that your have a supply of food for at least a decade, and turn on your computer. You can hear the police trying to smash down your door. You ignore them and put on your Razortm headset and blast the opening theme of SAO to drown them out. You start downloading the game. It takes at least two days, which the police have used to commission packs of C4 from the local fireworks shop. They are evacuating the neighborhood and are threatening to blow up your house if you do not come out. You can tell from their voice that they are visibly shaken up. You ignore their banter and start the game. At this point your eyes no longer have pupils and instead have the very distinct swirl that animes usually put on the glasses of their nerdy awkward characters. You fingers are shaking so much that you can feel the can of Fanta in your hands combust from the pressure it is accumulating.

The title screen shows up, you scream. The game is connecting to the internet, You shout and puke. The game starts a cinematic that lasts about an hour and a half, explaining the very detailed setting and the excuse they made up to forgo physics in favor of lightspeed travel. Your screen then starts flashing violently as it spawns your main character, who looks like a discount brand of artichoke mixed with the aesthetic of 1920's car color architecture. You put your hand on the keyboard and mouse, appreciating their Chinese plastic Steelseries quality, and take a moment to appreciate that without this company, you would be utterly unable to experience gaming to its fullest. With the image of you kissing their CEO still fresh in your small brain, you start playing the game, which instructs you to go collect a billion carbon ores and a zillion crystal minerals from he mine of mineria, the planet where all mining companies mine their mines and mind their own business. You do so happily, knowing that these time consuming tasks are in the end worth it because the game is holding hostage something that you desperately want. It's exactly like work!

Once you are done, it then asks you to build a spaceship with all the acquired materials. You open your crafting menu, look for fifteen minutes in the list of craftable items, and finally select the grayed out option for building the very specific model of potato shaped ship, named the Spud Citizentm ver 1.352-98765432654. The crafted ship then automatically takes you to a space station that is orbiting a nearby star. The star is only nearby on a galactic scale obviously you uncultured swines. Once you board the station, you see the receptionist who's clevage is blatantly exposed for your pleasure, but is totally not a side effect of the predominantly patriarchal society that rules the planet, and is obviously an artiiistic choice like come on you guys don't you know this already having gone to art school and whatnot? She informs you that your big space adventure is about to start. She takes you to one of those giant rotating space cylinders that are obviously a practical way of emulating earth's gravity even though a structure like this is unlikely to be able to support both the pressure of an atmosphere and the centrifugal force of its own rotating frame. She takes you to your home, which is a small apartment on the side of a busy highway, just like yours. She then informs you that you will be working for a corporation called Billion Carbon for not a Billion Bucks. You will be sitting at a Cubicloffice crunching numbers on a 1980s style retro computer, because obviously emulating worse technology in a game is an aesthetic, right? She then announces that you will be playing the best game ever conceived from now on, "Star Citizen". You realize that the game has played you like a fool, and that you've been tricked into playing the worst game in the world, Your own life. You fall down on the floor, crying like a baby, the chair from work still very embedded between your ass cheeks.

The police detonate the C4, your apartment complex lifts off into space, where you immediately die due to the lack of oxygen. In the end, you will always be, a Star Citizentm.
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gimymblert
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« Reply #875 on: October 26, 2016, 11:04:18 PM »

DANK MAYMAYZ

This is a redraw of the famous scene from Cory in the House season 178 where Cory goes berserk after the death of Newt and the giant floating naked Raven scene where Siivagunner reveals his true form as Chaze and betrays the Baxters. Cory then fuses with the ruins of the White House to form the great Ameri-mech to take down Super Ultra Mecha Kawaii Desu Clintlin Trumpler to stop the Dank Meme Instrumentality Project and avenge Newt.
But, first, he must face Berserk Meena in a giant mech fight to the death.
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Silbereisen
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« Reply #876 on: October 30, 2016, 02:42:01 PM »

ah good shit, now that people are posting south park videos the truly nuanced discourse regarding labour relations can begin
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FK in the Coffee
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« Reply #877 on: October 30, 2016, 02:44:29 PM »

ah good shit, now that people are posting south park videos the truly nuanced discourse regarding labour relations can begin
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Manuel Magalhães
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« Reply #878 on: October 30, 2016, 02:54:45 PM »

ah good shit, now that people are posting south park videos the truly nuanced discourse regarding labour relations can begin
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Capntastic
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« Reply #879 on: November 03, 2016, 07:39:04 AM »

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