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Melly
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« Reply #340 on: September 13, 2007, 05:15:26 PM » |
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>At first thinks of returning to Manitou, pointing at the direction of the three headed creature and letting the half dragon get him away from that place. Then human stupidity finally set those thoughts aside.
Grabs a peeble and flings it at one of the heads.
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skaldicpoet9
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« Reply #341 on: September 13, 2007, 05:29:27 PM » |
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>Ow! I mean OW! That really hurt....who do you think you are? Just flinging pebbles inconsequentially? Man, I am going to have a raging headache after this, man, damn!
Were you trying to get away from Mantiou's riddles? Bah, he is such a buffoon...argh and then I get the rejects after his "answer the riddle game" fails...
Ok, so what exactly do you want puny?
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\\\\\\\"Fearlessness is better than a faint heart for any man who puts his nose out of doors. The date of my death and length of my life were fated long ago.\\\\\\\"
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Stij
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« Reply #342 on: September 13, 2007, 05:54:47 PM » |
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>Throw another rock. What's the worst that could happen?
Well, death and horrible pain. But still.
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Guert
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« Reply #343 on: September 14, 2007, 03:56:11 AM » |
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You throw another peeble with all your might. The small rock lands directly in one of the beast's nostrils. It violently starts to gasp for air. It,s sharp and long claws prevent it from getting the peeble out. The creatures try to sneeze it out but, instead of expulsing it, the creatures ends up swallowing it.
The peeble gets stuck halfway through the monster's throat. As one head chokes on the rock, the two others start yelling and growling in pain. Few seconds later, the beast collapses in agony. The peeble had logged itself in it's lungs and caused a quick and painful internal hemorrhage due to teh three hearts pumping blood at an incredible rate.
As the blood of the creature starts dripping from its dead body's orifices, Manitou approaches quickly, speaking out loud...
"Honey, Are you Ok? I heard some noises... I'm looking for some guy who ran past me and... Honey? HONEY!!!!"
Manitou's eyes are becoming injected with blood. His mouth starts to foam with rage. His paws are clenched and ready to strike...
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« Last Edit: September 14, 2007, 08:44:45 AM by Guert »
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Melly
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« Reply #344 on: September 14, 2007, 08:22:40 AM » |
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>Point behind Manitou, say "Look, it's Rosie O'Donnel!" then run when he's not looking.
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skaldicpoet9
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« Reply #345 on: September 14, 2007, 08:48:29 AM » |
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>Manitou says, "Oh, my, god! Rosie? I loved you on The View, man, it is horrible what they did to you...wait a sec, Rosie isn't back here, aw damn"
*Manitou looks around*
"Man, how could I have fallen for the Rosie O' Donnell trick? I mean C'MON that is the oldest trick in the book you moron"
Meanwhile as you continue to stretch the distance between the great beast and yourself you come upon a strange clearing in the woods, strange because the trees here are not wood and leaves but rather made out of what appears to be some sort of rare gem.
Suddenly the trees start glowing ominously...
You slip into unconsciousness...
*Darkness*
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\\\\\\\"Fearlessness is better than a faint heart for any man who puts his nose out of doors. The date of my death and length of my life were fated long ago.\\\\\\\"
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Melly
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« Reply #346 on: September 14, 2007, 08:51:19 AM » |
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>sing some blues
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Guert
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« Reply #347 on: September 19, 2007, 08:49:20 AM » |
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You start signing...
"I'm in complete darkness!
I'm all alone...
No one hears me!
Feels like I'm stoned...
I ain't got no baby!
To hold my hand...
I'm going crazy!
Will this ever end?
I'm so lonely...
So cold...
So Horny...
So alone...
OooOOOOOhhh so alone..."
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Melly
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« Reply #348 on: September 19, 2007, 12:21:49 PM » |
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>Masturbate
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Guert
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« Reply #349 on: September 19, 2007, 12:37:03 PM » |
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The naughty tought arouses you. You come to realize that you have no clothes on, which will greatly help the process of self-pleasuring. You softly caress your upper body and slowly run your hand down to your intimate parts. Your body heat greatly increases and you savor the fragrance of ecstasy rising... Your body heat reaches very high temperatures that you cannot normaly reach. The smell in your nostrils remind you of those meals you used to eat when ordering chinese food...
You wake up in surprise. You are are lying in a caldron filled with soy sauce and wieners. In your right hand, a small sausage is compressed between your fingers. The sauce is about to boil. Your eyes itch because of the spices and can't speak because of an apple lodged between your teeth. You can't seem to hear any sound except the crackling of the wood burning under the black caldron.
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Melly
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« Reply #350 on: September 19, 2007, 12:43:31 PM » |
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>use all my strength to get out of the cauldron, then find some water to cool myself and clean my eyes. And get rid of the damn sausage.
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Guert
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« Reply #351 on: September 19, 2007, 05:02:36 PM » |
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You pull yourself out of the cauldron using your powerful, tender, soy-flavored muscles. You are now standing next to the cauldron and you see a kitchen sink nearby. You throw the squished sausage to the ground.
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Melly
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« Reply #352 on: September 19, 2007, 06:31:27 PM » |
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>open faucet
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Guert
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« Reply #353 on: September 20, 2007, 05:53:46 AM » |
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With a mighty blow, you split open the faucet. Water starts to shoot out and washes you violently.
You are standing in a kitchen, next to a spraying fauset, naked and wet.
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Derek
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« Reply #354 on: September 20, 2007, 06:00:02 AM » |
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> masturbate
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Guert
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« Reply #355 on: September 20, 2007, 06:14:55 AM » |
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Yet again, the naughty thought arouses you. The sweet shivers you are getting from the soft draft and the thought of having held a sausage so firmly in your hand are truly turning you on. You slowly caress your legs and chest and gently move up to your intimate region. Your left hand, still warm from the soy sauce, runs across your solid muscles still pumped with blood after the powerful blow to the faucet... You feel a pleasing nibble on your left bun. Then a second, stronger nibble on your right. You suddenly feel a strong, razor-like cut on you left bun which simply breaks the mood you've been trying to establish with yourself.
As you turn around, you find that all the small wieners have risen from the caldron and are attacking you from behind. It seems that the sauce was in fact some ingredient X and crushing of one of their fellow didn't please them much. When you washed yourself, you got rid of the smell that made them believe you were one of them... Now, you are cold and they want to eat their serving of REVENGE!
You are standing naked, cold, wet, in a weird kitchen, next to a spraying fauset, surrounded by devilish sausages ready to strike you, three of them hanging on your bottocks
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« Last Edit: September 20, 2007, 06:19:15 AM by Guert »
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Melly
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« Reply #356 on: September 20, 2007, 06:56:34 AM » |
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>whistles for a dog, or something
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Guert
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« Reply #357 on: September 20, 2007, 07:26:24 AM » |
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You whistle with all your might. A dog comes running toward you. In few seconds, he gobbles up 7 of the 20 wieners. Unluckily, the dog is going insane with all the available meat and aims straight for your crotch.
You are now standing naked, wet, cold, in a kitchen, next to a spraying faucet, surrounded by 13 evil wieners, 3 of them bitting your posterieur and a dog hanging on your crotch and you have yet pleased yourself. You hear loud walking stomps...
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Melly
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« Reply #358 on: September 20, 2007, 09:26:05 AM » |
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>closes eyes and wishes all the bad away
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Guert
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« Reply #359 on: September 21, 2007, 07:40:13 PM » |
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You close you eyes and wish. Oh you wish with all your heart and soul! You wish that all the bad things around you vanishes! Suddenly, you hear a great voicie in your head: "Wish granted!" When you look around you, the dog hanging from your crotch, the attacking wieners, the spraying faucet and the kitchen are still there. The voice points out: "These are neutral characters who are simply following their animal instinct, they are not bad"
You are still in the same situation but you cannot hear stomps anymore. You do feel a nasty pain in your groin though...
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