bigbossSNK
Level 1
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« Reply #360 on: September 22, 2007, 04:00:05 AM » |
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>Ask the dog if he likes my crotch sweat
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Guert
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« Reply #361 on: September 22, 2007, 04:35:15 AM » |
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The dog releases your personals and stands up on his two back legs as he puts on a monocle.
"Ah, I'm glad you asked my friend as you see, I am quite a connoisseur when it comes to the intimate regions of humans... To be honest my friend, the taste is a little bland. It doesn't have the panache I was expecting. The first bite was filled with a palatable flavor but the feeling quickly disolved. I was left with only the taste of banality itself. Still, it is not mediocre. I've enjoyed it ever since the first contact but it was not special enough to make me come back for more... Now if you excuse me, I'd like to keep on bitting your genitalia as I haven't had the chance of enjoying such a meal in a long time..."
The dog is preparing to leap once again at your family jewels...
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Melly
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« Reply #362 on: September 22, 2007, 12:01:14 PM » |
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>kick his head hard enough to crush his skull
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bigbossSNK
Level 1
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« Reply #363 on: September 24, 2007, 06:55:27 AM » |
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(+3 points for American History X reference)
(+50 points for Deathproof reference)
You plunge your heel inside the dog's skull, perforating the skin, crushing the bone and transforming it's head into a red pulp.
You suddenly feel like an action hero. The words come to your mouth, unable to stop them:
"I told you sweetheart, I don't like it when you use your teeth down there"
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Guert
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« Reply #364 on: September 25, 2007, 09:03:59 AM » |
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>Wipe blood off foot
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Stij
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« Reply #365 on: September 25, 2007, 01:09:02 PM » |
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What shall ye use to wipe your foot off?
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Jimbob
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« Reply #366 on: September 25, 2007, 01:44:36 PM » |
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> Lick blood off foot
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Guert
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« Reply #367 on: September 28, 2007, 06:24:00 AM » |
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You lick to blood of your foot. After two licks, you have the urge to take a bite out of your foot, years of television has conditionned your mind to execute stupid behaviors. You crunch half of your foot off.
You see the creamy center of your foot and faint.
You wake up in the middle of a road surrounded by simple wild vegetation. The warm breeze carries a delightful aroma of sea salt and the birds are singing a sweet melody. The dirt road on which you stand heads straight forward on both directions and you can't see any signs of habitations for at least one mile. Next to you stands a sign: "Welcome to PorkLake"
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Melly
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« Reply #368 on: September 28, 2007, 05:12:00 PM » |
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>Summon Derek Yu. Again.
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Stij
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« Reply #369 on: September 28, 2007, 06:04:24 PM » |
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Derek appears in a puff of logic. "BEWARE, I LIVE!" he booms. "SO, UH, WHAT HAVE YE SUMMONED ME FOR? MAKE IT SNAPPY, TALKING IN ALL CAPS IS HARDER THEN IT LOOKS."
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Melly
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« Reply #370 on: September 28, 2007, 07:31:26 PM » |
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>"Oh Derek, Lord and Savior... will you give me a grilled cheese sandwish, I'm starved."
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mjau
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« Reply #371 on: September 30, 2007, 10:32:28 AM » |
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Derek grunts and starts waving his hands around in the air while making mysterious humming noises.
This goes on for a while.
Just as you start wondering if something's going to happen soon and what's with that humming anyway, something appears out of thin air! Derek quickly grabs the something and hands it over to you. "HERE YOU GO, A SANDWICH WITH GRILLED CHEESE. MAY I GO NOW? I'VE GOT PLACES TO BE, YOU KNOW."
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Melly
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« Reply #372 on: September 30, 2007, 11:55:54 AM » |
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>"Sure, but before you go, mind telling me the meaning of life?"
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Derek
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« Reply #373 on: September 30, 2007, 03:45:54 PM » |
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"DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" \  Derek's head then explodes, sending gore and pieces of skull flying all over the place. An eyeball falls onto your grilled cheese sandwich. >
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Ivan
Owl Country
Level 10
alright, let's see what we can see
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« Reply #374 on: September 30, 2007, 05:26:07 PM » |
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> make Croque Madame
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Guert
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« Reply #375 on: September 30, 2007, 05:42:08 PM » |
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You search desperately for a toaster oven. After two hours, you find one and go on to create your croque madame. When you pull out your crispy,hot cheese and eyeball sandwich, you realize you don't have any eggs to put it on. Unless you find a fried egg, you'll be stuck with a croque monsieur...
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moi
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« Reply #376 on: September 30, 2007, 07:30:35 PM » |
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>think about missing egg then look at eyeball then think about egg again
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subsystems subsystems subsystems
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Derek
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« Reply #377 on: September 30, 2007, 07:41:53 PM » |
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You spend 10 minutes thinking before you realize that it's quite painful. You stop. Then you take the eyeball and crack it open with your thumbs, revealing something slimy within.
Dear God, it's moving!
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Melly
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« Reply #378 on: September 30, 2007, 09:31:11 PM » |
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>Kill it. With fire.
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Inane
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« Reply #379 on: September 30, 2007, 11:50:47 PM » |
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Unfortunately, there isn't any fire nearby, so you decide to transform your arm into flame instead.
In a burst of purple flame, your hand, and the squirming eyeball contents in it's palm, are consumed!
You level up for this action, and gain 12 manlove points, plus learn the ability "Purple Flame Cannon Jump Shoot".
In your hand flaming hand is deady eyeball contents, and in the other you have grilled cheese sandwich.
You start thinking about Freddy Mercury.
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real art looks like the mona lisa or a halo poster and is about being old or having your wife die and sometimes the level goes in reverse
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