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[kitvonsnookerz]

It's called social "skill" for a reason, it needs to be trained. Some of us seemingly have it easier if we're exuberant, talkative, extroverted. (Yet, I find that just as often extroverts actually have poorly developed social skills as introverts, it's just displayed differently)

Small talk can be annoying sometimes, but it depends on where it's coming from, the amount of it, etc. I can listen and wait for an opportunity for more "meaningful" talks to open up, or smile and politely say I'm not either knowledgeable or very interested in the topic at hand. Most people don't get offended by that, especially because I don't "bother" them incessantly with topics they're not at all interested in (which I may be passionate about).

@JWK5
I fail to see the point in your sarcasm as none of those are honest people, really. Explain?

All of that is very true. That poorly developed skills is an interesting thought when I actually can see that. Interesting perspective. Meaning is VERY relative.

It's good to know Donald Trump isn't an asshole and rose to the top being truthful. I hear Kim Jong Un has some pretty awesome communication skills too. I also really like all those nice honest people at the Federal Reserve and those people running all those exploitative banks that have got the world by the balls, they've got some great communication skills.

it's okt o have brief, meaningless conversations with people

Before or after you get drunk?

Say what you will about the man or the people who voted for him, whether you're a fan or not he is an expert communicator. OR at a minimum he has expert communicators around him. It may not be evident but he managed to communicate enough with voters to win a national election. That is no small feat. What you think about the people or the message is irrelevant. He got the exact message to the people that needed to get to them for him to get what he wanted, the highest office in the land.

Can you do that?

Now that boils down to your definition of "doing well".

Well we can judge that by the effect the person wanted to have with their communication and if it is achieved or not.

[Pfotegeist]

I'm at least 1% more likely to get an answer when I ask internet.

When a kid goes up to me and make up some bs. like "gravity has shifted sideways" and knock my wooden blocks over I stand up go to the teacher and ask "can gravity be sideways?" then walk away. 

I'd never see the same teacher again and never get an answer. Reality is f'd up.

[Capntastic]

Interacting with people is good even if for some goofball reason you think it isn't efficient or productive

[kitvonsnookerz]

Interacting with people is good even if for some goofball reason you think it isn't efficient or productive

Amen to that. I mean this forum is put together for that exact reason. (WOAH this topic attracted mod attention...Maybe I hit the heart of the forum with this one  )

[Schoq]

never make eye contact with or talk to anyone even if it's an emergency

[kitvonsnookerz]

never make eye contact with or talk to anyone even if it's an emergency

Never leave your house or shower, ever, even if its an emergency.

[Schoq]

long recreational showers are actually recommended as the warmth it provides serves as an excellent substitute for human physical contact

[litHermit]

warm showers are forbidden. Only icy cold water for the cold cold heart

[Torchkas]

introversion is actually a personality trait believe it or not. you can train yourself to be more social but at the end of the day the way you cognitively deal with those situations is completely different from an extrovert. whereas an extrovert wants to be social every day, an introvert feels an obligation to. it shouldn't be surprising that a lot of introverts ignore the social norm and prefer to use their energy for things they consider more productive.

as to why introversion is so strongly correlated with stem fields. i don't know. what's interesting is that autism is also correlated with those fields, as is being male.

[gimymblert]

Humans are social animals at base, please exercise that ability even if you like computer

I like people more than computer, but where I am, I can't discuss something without creating (apparently) existential crisis with the person I'm talking about when I reveal the whole implication of that innocent thought they have. In theory that apply, in practice there is mismatch that don't help and push you away through sheer frustration, even in a willing environment.

have you considered not being a weird ass hole

- I don't really do that on purpose like, revealing dark secret behind thought, that's just a natural process of going with the flows, it's just that I realize after that the ilplication of the opinion is actual existential crisis, like discussing the size of the universe, for me it's amazing, for other people they made them realize how they are insignificant, and it's not always as straightforward like this, small stuff can do that too, I generally stop when I see their voice cracking under the realization. The thing I came to realize is that knowledge by itself is something people fear, independent of how smart and educated . I brought this point because it something I realize recently while talking to a woman that I was befriending with, she is a professor of logistic, she travel a lot (she is been in dubai recently) so she is smart and educated, but the thing is that I realize that my baseline fundamental view of the world is different and incompatible, regardless of how we appreciate each other, on the same basic facts, we have different interpretation and emotions and mine have this seemingly impact to make people feel insognificant in the grand scheme of things, because I seem to have a knack to make obvious relation between different domain ... and there is this world people like to use "empathy", which is fine, but it generally mean you have this super power to not just understand the people's feeling bt the ability to react to it in a perfect way, heh I don't have that then, I mean if as a baseline I don't react the same way, how do I  answer someone's feeling to make them comfortable, you start second guessing, and since you are a nerd you start to use effective scripted responses for each situation, ie you start to act mechanical, which is the complete opposite of being actually spontaneous compassionate, and it do drain yourself as you are not acting true.

After a moment, you have to ask yourself:
- do I continue to feed other's depression
or
- do I continue to feed my depression

The answer isn't to push back people and meaningless conversation, it's to find an avenue to balance your intake in way that suits you. Imbalance will throw your entire psychological equilibrium, and it will impact other domain. AS a doctor you should know about homeostasis, lack of something impact the functioning of the whole, if you lack water, taking more glucose won't help.

as to why introversion is so strongly correlated with stem fields. i don't know. what's interesting is that autism is also correlated with those fields, as is being male.

Historically it wasn't, there was a sudden shift around 1984, the cause is highly suspected to be the marketing of home computer.

[ProgramGamer]

Has anyone addressed the fact that this thread's topic is rooted in the presumption that Computer Scientists and Software Engineers are, in fact, antisocial, and that this may very well not be the case?

In my experience as a game dev student, social interactions are abundant among fellow programmers, even when the topic revolves around programming. So, to me, the very premise of this discussion is flawed because it stems from an unverified assumption, and all anyone's done so far is propose theoretical reason to a theoretical scenario.

tl;dr: Computer people are not necessarily predisposed to being less social than anyone else in the world, and working with the assumption that they are will lead you to false conclusions.

[gimymblert]

Thanks Pop culture stereotype

[Schoq]

has any of them ever talked to a girl though

[s0]

yep, this is a pretty bad thread to be honest. not lock worthy but still

[Schoq]

nobody broke out myer-briggs yet which makes it far better than average for a thread like this

[kitvonsnookerz]

yep, this is a pretty bad thread to be honest. not lock worthy but still

I would say lets lock it and move on...I've learned my lesson and for what it's worth, sorry.

[litHermit]

Has anyone addressed the fact that this thread's topic is rooted in the presumption that Computer Scientists and Software Engineers are, in fact, antisocial, and that this may very well not be the case?

In my experience as a game dev student, social interactions are abundant among fellow programmers, even when the topic revolves around programming. So, to me, the very premise of this discussion is flawed because it stems from an unverified assumption, and all anyone's done so far is propose theoretical reason to a theoretical scenario.

tl;dr: Computer people are not necessarily predisposed to being less social than anyone else in the world, and working with the assumption that they are will lead you to false conclusions.

Tbh the only assumption here is yours, the title is clearly vague (snicker) in "Why are so many...", not all, not most, just "many". Semantics aside, it seems to me the topic is more about the perception that these groups are asocial, rather than it's trying to state it as a fact.

I would say lets lock it and move on...I've learned my lesson and for what it's worth, sorry.

You should learn that mods are people too, too.

[Torchkas]

Has anyone addressed the fact that this thread's topic is rooted in the presumption that Computer Scientists and Software Engineers are, in fact, antisocial, and that this may very well not be the case?

In my experience as a game dev student, social interactions are abundant among fellow programmers, even when the topic revolves around programming. So, to me, the very premise of this discussion is flawed because it stems from an unverified assumption, and all anyone's done so far is propose theoretical reason to a theoretical scenario.

tl;dr: Computer people are not necessarily predisposed to being less social than anyone else in the world, and working with the assumption that they are will lead you to false conclusions.

https://cris.maastrichtuniversity.nl/portal/en/publications/personality-and-field-of-study-choice(0689ef9e-3468-4dd2-a272-becbc885098b).html

A one standard deviation increase of extraversion decreases the probability of choosing STEM fields by 7.8 percentage points for men and 2.5 percentage points for women. While the absolute effect is larger for men, the relative effect is larger for women. Given that STEM field enrolment rates in our sample are 30.8% for men and only 7.5% for women, men with a one standard deviation higher score on extraversion are 25% less likely to enrol in a STEM field, whereas women with a similarly higher score on extraversion are 33% less likely to enrol in a STEM field. With regard to choosing Law in university, a one standard deviation increase in extraversion increases the probability of choosing this field of study by 46% (3.6 percentage points) for women and 42% (1.8 percentage points) for men. The multinomial logit model further implies that extraversion is associated with choosing Business, Economics and Medical Studies for men; for women, it associates with Social Sciences and Humanities. Men who score one standard deviation higher on extraversion are 10% (2.9 percentage points) more likely to choose Business and Economics and 20% (2.2 percentage points) more likely to choose Medical Studies. In contrast, women who score one standard deviation higher on extraversion are 7% (2.5 percentage points, marginally significant) more likely to choose Social Sciences and 14% (2.7 percentage points) less likely to choose Humanities. Increasing levels of extraversion seem to shift young men’s field of study choice from STEM to Law, Business, Economics and Medical Sciences. For women, increasing levels of extraversion seems to shift field of study choice from STEM and Humanities to Social Sciences and Law. All other things being equal, Social Sciences, Business, Economics, Law and Medical Studies seem to fit extroverts better in terms of the opportunity for social interaction, for persuading others, and for being the focus of attention. In the words of Sherwin Rosen: “Musicians cannot be tone-deaf; football players tend to be large; while lawyers, and many economists, have a propensity to talk” (Rosen, 2002:9).

Now I must say that introversion doesn't necessarily mean that you're anti-social, or asocial as Schoq said. It just means that you're a lot less comfortable with social interactions. Communication is still very important for big teams, so the notion that everyone in STEM is a complete shut-in is of course completely untrue.

[Superb Joe]

nobody broke out myer-briggs yet which makes it far better than average for a thread like this

intj stands for "I'm named TJ" and is a shorthand way of telling people that your name is TJ

[kitvonsnookerz]

nobody broke out myer-briggs yet which makes it far better than average for a thread like this

intj stands for "I'm named TJ" and is a shorthand way of telling people that your name is TJ

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

nobody broke out myer-briggs yet which makes it far better than average for a thread like this

We've completed the circle. I can die happy.